Wednesday, February 6, 2013

It's snowing. Again.

The first snow of the year is beautiful. The world is blanketed in clean, calm white and everything seems more hushed, somehow. 
Then, about three days later, the wonder's gone and I'm left with exhaustion and seething resentment at the heavy white stuff that won't stop piling up on my driveway.  
 
 

Doesn't the snow know that I already hate getting up early in the morning, and setting the alarm extra early so that I can shovel my car out before work is physically painful?


It's not so bad at first. At first, I'm full of energy.  The snow isn't that heavy and the wind isn't that cold. I can do this!


The world loses its shiny happy lustre pretty quickly, though. My fulcrum arm (Confession: I've been waiting for a long time to be able to write "my fulcrum arm". I think it makes me sound like a cyborg.) and my back ache from the strain. My exposed skin is icy cold, while a sheen of sweat covers my body under my multiple layers. 
 
There's just so much stinking snow!


Getting tired.


A few more heavy shovelfuls.  I'm almost done.

Victory! 
I am the overlord of snow!  This snow is mine!  It bows down before my shovel of doom!
 
 
 
Now back inside to take a shower and get ready for work.  I'm running a bit late, but my boss already texted me this morning about the road conditions.  She'll understand if I get there a bit later than usual.  The hot water feels so good against my cold, clammy skin.  At least the pipes to the bathroom aren't frozen.
I get dressed, grab some breakfast, throw my coat back on and rush out to my car.
 
 
I hate winter. 
Can it be over soon? 
Please?
 


110 comments:

  1. I love it! I had forgotten the "joy" of shoveling snow only to be plowed right back under more snow-ice.
    I think one year in Vermont, we lost 3 mailboxes to the snowplow. They eventually were recovered when the wall of snow melted but in the meantime we kept buying and reinstalling mailboxes.

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    1. Argh! How frustrating! We don't have mailboxes in my community. We have to get our mail at the post office. I used to complain about that...but maybe it's a good thing!

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  2. I really should complain less about the snow in the UK it is not as bad as yours, in fact by the sound of it the snow you have would bring the UK to a complete halt. As it was, it did grind to a halt for 2-3 days at one point due to snow but over here the main problem has been rain and flooding this winter.

    I am glad you found out how to turn the water off so that the dog will not be burnt to death and you end up divorced, such a thing would be terrible.

    I think you and the dog will be OK and the sun will shine soon.

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    1. At least you have enough snow to make a snow zombie. I think that's probably the perfect amount of snow. Last year we didn't get much snow at all, but this year it's just neverending.

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  3. Now I feel guilty for claiming to enjoy the pretty snow falling today. Then again, my driveway is not covered with minipads, so I don't have as much angst. I am mentally sending you an imaginary award for your bravery in all things plumbing and imagination related! So happy to see you!

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    1. P.s. thought of you when my daughter was face down eating snow again the other day!

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    2. I totally deserve that award!

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  4. Another reason to love Calgary chinooks - but I grew up in Edmonton, so I understand piles of snow on either side of the driveway so high that they don't melt away until June 9if I was lucky).

    I want one of those mini snow-blowers/heat vacumn gun things that the snow clearing crew at my office have. One time, one of them cleared all the snow off my car in less than a minute. Plus they look like jet packs on their backs.

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    1. When JP saw your comment (he's back now...I started this post last week while he was still gone), he said "let's move to Calgary!" Ha! And I want a snow jetpack too. We actually have a snowblower, but it got coated in ice during a freak January rainstorm, and now it's frozen solid. We can't use it.

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  5. I hate hate hate the plow. Most places plow the snow into huge mountains in abandoned lots or over a cliff, into a river...but here they plow and the plow leaver berms. Then they plow some more. At night. So it freezes. You are left with a two to seven foot berm of ice chunks. Then as you dig it out, near victory, bam! A daytime plow comes by and plows ice berms into your driveway as you shake your fists, brandishing your shovel like a pitchfork.

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh, I would be so P.O'd at the snow plow driver!

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    2. Oh, that's awful! The plows make my life hard, but not impossible. Seven feet? That would be impossible.

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  6. When the temperatures didn't get above 25 for over a week in New York at the end of January, I lived in fear of coming home to frozen pipes. And we haven't figured out which valve turns the water off in our new house, so we would have been a complete disaster. I totally hear you. Also, my husband I both hate shoveling, so we decided that the purchase of a snow blower is definitely in order.

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    1. We have a snowblower. Unfortunately it got encased in ice during a freak January rain storm, so it's frozen solid. The pipes unfroze just fine...according to the plumber I spoke to on the phone, apparently the material matters. Our are made of rubber, so they can expand. But if your pipes are copper, they might burst.

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  7. Ugh, I now hate snow! I have had wet feet for about a week now!x

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    1. Wet feet are the worst! That's the only time that I prefer painfully cold over almost-but-not-quite-freezing-point. Snow is bad. But slush is worse.

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  8. We've only had several inches of snow in the Chicago area this year, but I know the frustration of being plowed in after all that hard work shoveling yourself out. Grrrr....

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    Replies
    1. That was us last year...only one or two big dumps of snow. This year, though, it never seems to end!

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  9. So glad we've been somewhat free of snow this year, but I do feel for you, Stephanie. I know how it was here 2 years ago. Awful. I do love your color choices for your outfit. Oh, and is the snow what I think it is? Tee hee...

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    1. Thanks. My clay winter gear really is stylish, isn't it? Errr...it depends on what you think it is. Ha! They're square cotton makeup removal pads. Since I don't wear makeup, we bought them to clean the dog's ears. He was very stressed while I was laying them out on the table. Ha!

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  10. Dear god, I feel your pain. I actually just posted about the horrors of living in a snowy climate. It's just so ungodly icy and snowy. Why did I choose this life?!?

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    1. Right? Why doesn't everyone move to somewhere warm - but not too hot. Actually, I like seasons. I just wish that winter didn't claim five months of the year. One month of winter would be just about right!

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    2. I love seasons, too! But like you said, winter is way too long. If I could live in a world where summer and fall are in a repeat cycle, I would be a happy man. I'm sure this place exists...

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  11. I love this! It is totally true! The feeling of waking up new a heavy, new snowfall is incredible and the dog walk you go on in the white world is lovely. The first day of major snow is like going into wonderland. And then it gets cold, annoying and very much in the way!
    The worst thing about snow is that at some point, it will inevitably turn into gross slushy stuff that makes everything muddy, freezing cold and very wet.
    x

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    1. I don't think I would mind snow if I never had to deal with anything car-related (and if it wouldn't get so cold that it hurts to breathe). Like you, I love walking the dog in the snow, because he's so funny and happy when he's rolling around and jumping in it. But make me shovel or drive in the snow, and I'm miserable!

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  12. I, also, like snow when it's brand new and pristine. I don't even mind the shoveling part ...at least the first time out there. I HATE when it is looking all nice and the snow plow comes by and dumps a 3 ft wall at the end of my freshly scooped drive. GGGRRRR!

    You're in Canada, right??? We are amateurs in our dealings with snow compared to you, though. Kansas gets about 20 inches of snow in an average winter.

    My husband is working in Halifax for the next eight weeks and he is telling me that it is cold and icy.

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    1. I like walking in the snow. But I DO mind the shoveling part. Even the first time. I really like Halifax, especially when the weather is nice! It's just a few hours from here. They're calling for a BIG storm tomorrow!

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  13. My husband does all the shoveling, however, our gravel parking area never gets shoveled, so now I curse snow because it is unseasonably warm, but still cold so we have a skating rink in a perfect ring around my car. Walking out to the car is an exercise in terror. Sometimes, I make the choice to starve just so I won't have to walk on the four foot path of ice.

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    1. Oh...ice is probably worse than snow. I hate that helpless feeling when you realize that you're going to fall, but can't do anything to stop it. JP usually does the shoveling too. Except for the past few years, he's been away on work trips when we've gotten the big blizzards. So unfair!

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  14. It doesn't snow much here, but when it does our village sends the plows out and about right away. I live on a cul-de-sac, so, the plows like to push the snow directly in front of my house. No big deal, except for the time when they decided I didn't have a driveway and piled about 4 feet of snow and ice boulders in front of the end of my driveway. I thought I was going to lose my mind! In fact, I probably did, because I called the public works department and left them a very angry voice mail message. As I was out there trying to dig out my driveway, the plow guys came back and relocated all of the snow. I almost felt bad about having called to complain about them.

    And then another time, they knocked over my mailbox.

    In conclusion, snow is bad. (What on earth did you use for your snow???

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    Replies
    1. Good for you for speaking your mind! It was good of them to come back and fix their mistake. And the snow is small square cotton pads...the kind that people who wear makeup use to remove makeup. I use them to clean the dog's ears. And make snow.

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  15. Ha! I wrote about shoveling snow for my Yeah Write entry, too -- too funny! And I'm ready for spring.

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    Replies
    1. I can't wait to read yours! Well, if nothing else, I guess it gives us something to write about...

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  16. This was really funny! I loved the claymation comics and the water pipe freezing imaginary dog death spiral.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! A lot of my imaginary spirals end up with me either causing the dog's death, burning down the house or (most often) both.

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  17. Awesome post! Please feel better: I don't know how to turn off the water, either.

    I do feel bad, though... I pray for snow. We don't get any except every fourth year (and then usually in an epic way), so my kids and I get excited every time there's a possibility.

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    1. No, don't feel bad! I really look forward to the first snow every year. It's the fourth and the twelfth and the twentieth snows that get me down. (And you should figure out how to turn your water off. It's not that hard, promise! And you might need it someday! See? I'm all miss responsibility now. Go, me.)

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  18. I just love this. I live in the south and everyone panics if we get half a centimeter of snow. I couldn't imagine having to shovel anything.

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    1. We spent four years living in a place that rarely got snow, and it was so amusing to see the reactions to a dusting of snow! Not so amusing to drive in the snow there, though...there just weren't the resources to take care of it properly, and people did NOT know how to drive in the snow. Harrowing!

      Maybe you could just go in your backyard and shovel dirt or something.

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  19. Omg this is brilliant! Asa former Clevelander who endured lake effect snow, I'm right there with ya! HAHAHA!! So funny!

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    1. Former? As in...you don't have to shovel snow anymore? ARGH! I'm so jealous!

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  20. I just don't think I could do it - live somewhere where it snows like that. I love the first beautiful snow (we had one over the weekend) but always love to see it melt right away and back to life. Like Whoa! Susannah up there, I'm in the south too, and it is quite humorous how people react to even the threat of any frozen precipitation.

    We had about an inch or so of snow starting last Saturday and by Sunday afternoon it was all gone. Today it was 65 degrees when I left work. I'll send some spring like wishes your way!!!

    This post is awesome!

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    1. Yes, please! I'll accept your spring with open arms! February's usually even worse than January. Then March is...well...who knows? April, though...April brings the spring.

      While I dream about living in the warm south sometimes, I think that I might actually miss seasons, and I really dislike humid heat. I just wish that I could invent my own climate: 1 month of cold and snow (around Christmas-time), 1 or 2 months of hot summer, and then loooooong Spring and Fall.

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  21. Mini pad snow!!! How hilarious. And you reminded me why I only VISIT Ohio in the winter...not live there anymore. Go fulcrum arm!!!

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    1. I'm afraid that one arm is going to get really big and muscly, and then I'll be lopsided.

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  22. Our first snow was Christmas Eve, and like you said, it was awesome! Now...I'm so over it.

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    1. Christmas Eve snow really is the best thing. If only it would all melt for good by January 10th.

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  23. Love all the images....and that will be me on Friday when we are supposed to get 2ft!!!! Ugh

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    1. Oh no!!! Hopefully it's not that bad! They're calling for 50 cm here on Friday. But I'm still hoping that they're wrong.

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  24. haha, yep in Minnesota we get PRETTY tired of and saturated with snow, so I can relate! this is funny!

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    1. Yeah, I think Minnesota is probably even worse than here for the snow! (Well, what I know of Minnesota, anyway. Which is...well...only what I saw in the movie Fargo. It looked cold, anyway.)

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  25. I sometimes think that I'd like to live in a place where I can shovel snow, but that's probably because I've never lived in a place where I have to shovel snow. And frozen pipes? Ouch! I guess where I live isn't really as cold as we like to say it is. Loved the clay - very cool!

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    1. It's ok to shovel snow for about 2 weeks. Then, it's just annoying. Frozen pipes are never fun! It only happens in the kitchen, and only if it gets REALLY cold overnight. We're going to have to figure out how to fix it so it doesn't happen! Anyway, if you're dying to shovel snow, you're welcome to come clear off my driveway.

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  26. I knew that damn snow plow was coming while you were in the shower!

    I ADORE your clay self! You're so creative! At least if you get snowed in you'll have more time for your claymates :D

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    1. Of course you knew. You knew because it ALWAYS HAPPENS!!!!! (Yes, I am a bit bitter.) Honestly, I don't think that I would mind being snowed in. If I never had to go anywhere (and therefore never had to shovel the driveway, scrape the windshield, or drive in the snow), I'd probably be a much bigger fan of winter!

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  27. Oh the plow...I've taken to shoveling the side-of-the-road snow several feet out and leading up to the driveway for this very reason! It has drastically reduced the amount of end-of-driveway heavy poop snow (yes, poop snow!) the plow deposits. Still no fun though, especially if the plows run before I can do it.

    As always, very entertaining post! I'm sorry that we are all entertained by your misfortunes...but hey, if you depict it in your adorable clay, it's hard not to enjoy it in spite of my empathy for you!

    Stay warm and safe. May spring weather come early this year!

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    1. That's not a bad idea! More shoveling up-front, less misery later. I may try that tomorrow, when they're calling for 50 cm of snow. And please feel free to laugh at my misfortunes. I fully realize that my misfortunes are really no big deal...my life is pretty good if all that I have to complain about is shoveling snow!

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  28. Very funny! I love the paragraph about your imaginary life. Familiar!!

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    1. My imaginary life often ends with me burning down the house and the dog. Sorry that my imaginary life reminds you of yours!

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  29. I can't even choose a favorite part of this post. You're hilarious! I live in Utah so all winter long I curse the cold and the snow. Because snow is only white and fluffy as it's falling, given a few hours and it's slushy and brown and freezes into death traps. But come the summer heat waves and I'm begging for winter again.

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    1. Yes! Snow is beautiful when it's falling, so long as you don't have to actually get in the car and go anywhere. It's been really cold here lately, so no slush, but I hate the ice even more than the snow. And - like you - I HATE summer heat waves. Luckily, it doesn't get all that hot here, even in July.

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  30. I am done with winter too. Although I've turned into a cold lightweight living in Virginia. It's 37 degrees right now and even inside my house, my nose and fingers are cold. YUCK. I'd be fine having a photo of your clay person frolicking in the "snow" to sub as winter for me. :)

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    1. Fingerless gloves are a beautiful thing for reading or typing on cold nights! Highly recommended!

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  31. I feel guilty about complaining over California life. Please feel free to punch me in the face if I ever mention it again.

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    1. I'll probably be in such a good mood when I get to snowless California that I'll forget all about punching you!

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  32. I think snow is probably one of the worst things ever. I mean that. I'm not exaggerating. Fulcrum arm is one of the best things though.

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    1. I'd rather just have the fulcrum arm minus the snow, to be honest.

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  33. Bahaha. Damn snowplows they always know how to screw you over! Although as a kid I loved them, they made the best snowhills!

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    1. So many things that I loved as a child I now curse as an adult. The snowplow is just one of those things!

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  34. I don't like the cold either. Or snow. And I want to shoot those snowplows for making drifts across the end of my driveway (even though they make my street better). The East Coast is about to get hammered by snow tomorrow and Saturday, sigh. I'd better warm up my fulcrum arm (awesome term!).

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    1. Are you on the east coast? They keep changing the amount of snow that we're going to get tonight. I'm *hoping* that they're waaaaaay off, and we'll just end up with a dusting. Yeah, right.

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  35. There is nothing worse than plow poop. Nothing.

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    1. Ha! You might be right. You should probably make a list of the 10 worst things, with plow poop - of course - being number 1.

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  36. It's not snowing here in L.A., but it's really getting cold. I think it's already down in the mid-60's. I'm freezing. I can hardly stand it.

    Lee
    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z

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    1. Try to keep those typing fingers from getting numb! And also, people from California shouldn't complain on Canadians' blogs about weather that is downright balmy. It makes us even more bitter than we already are. Ha!

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  37. Love it! I grew up in Michigan and actually loved shoveling. Of all my chores, that was my favorite. Now that I live in Virginia where we rarely get snow, I still love it. But I don't think I'd love it as much if I had to do it all winter long. Stock up on icy-hot!

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    1. Shoveling is ok for about 15 or 20 minutes. It's when it stretches for hours and hours that it gets to me!

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  38. I've never had to shovel snow before, but I do live in the south. I'm glad I don't have to shovel snow. Hearing about it from you and Kianwi makes me realize just how lucky I am. I'm the type of person who wants to go out and play in it until I get cold and then go inside and drink hot cocoa while hiding under blankets and complaining about how cold it is outside... not the type of person who wants to shovel snow. haha

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    1. Snow is actually fabulous if all you have to do is play in it. It's the shoveling and the car-scraping and the driving in dangerous conditions that make me hate winter.

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  39. I am sending you 100 snow sympathy points. They won't really help you keep up with the shovelling, or fix frozen pipes or - well, I guess they really won't do you much practical good. You can have bragging rights, though, for getting sympathy points from Saskatchewan! :) I hear ya - I am SO ready for spring!

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    1. 100 Saskatchewan points is like 200 points from anywhere else in the world! I'm so honoured!

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  40. I was over at another blog where you were expressing your frustration over making clay snow. Then I came here & discovered your solution. That is the most creative use of a feminine product I have ever seen.

    You are a master.

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    1. They're makeup removal pads! I swear!

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  41. I feel the exact same way about winter!! It's charming for about 2 minutes adn then it's just something you have to suffer through. I loved your clay animations, and the digression into your imaginary dystopian future! Glad to see you blogging again! I missed you during your hiatus. ; )

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    1. You apparently hated winter so much that you moved to Africa! Ha!

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  42. This. Is. Awesome.

    Southern Ontario is closed today. How goes the storm in your neck of the woods?

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    1. Not quite here yet! But there's a blizzard warning from midnight tonight until Sunday. Stay warm in your 14 foot drifts!

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  43. No snow my end of the world... and it sounds like you deserve the title of Queen Of Snow Shovelling...

    And while you're snowed under, I'm basking in hot, sultry weather... think shorts, sunglasses and endless iced cocktails with little umbrellas...

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  44. Oh, I feel so sorry for the little clay you working so hard to shovel, and in the end it turns out to be fruitless. I'm showing my daughter this post who is so determined to move to a snowy area, preferably without electricity or plumbing! She's 12 years old, and thinks that sounds like paradise.

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    1. You know, it really wouldn't be that bad...if it only lasted a few weeks and I didn't have to actually go anywhere. I could live without electricity (for a little while, anyway), but plumbing? No thanks!

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  45. Hahaha, I love this. Excellent job with the snow.
    I LOVE parking in my underground parking garage. Love it. No shoveling!!! It was snowmageddon here on Friday and I was soo thankful I didn't have to clear my car off, drive anywhere, or shovel anything. Good times.
    But I'm with you, I want it to be summer right NOW.

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    1. Yes, if I ever move back to the city (and we're hoping that it'll happen eventually), underground parking will be a MUST. As will easy access to the subway. In fact, I'd like to never have to drive again!

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  46. HAHAHA This is awesome. I loved your victory speech. Shovel of doom!

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  47. Well done Stephanie,
    nice creations, of course
    winter, Oh My God!!
    I am here via A to Z Blog Challenge.
    Keep inform nice to see you at a to z
    Keep Blogging
    All the Best
    Phil

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  48. LOL. Your poor fulcrum arm must have been aching after that. One year the retarded snowplow dude blocked all the side streets in our neighborhood like that and several cars were stuck trying to turn on the main streets. Glad the fire was only imaginary!

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    1. My fulcrum arm is made of STEEL! Yeah, we got snowed into our street one year. Luckily (?) it was on a saturday, and it got cleared out before I had to go back to work.

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  49. It is snowing again today, and it made me think of this post so I had to stop by to say hi ("hi!"). SUPPOSEDLY, because we live in a townhome, the association is supposed to shovel and plow so we don't have to. In the five years we've lived here, I can only think of one time when they did it before we had to go out and do it ourselves. *sigh* So much for the perks of association living. At least we don't have to mow.

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  50. Yes!!!! So funny! That is me!!! Except I swear! I got hit twice in less than 2 weeks in this striking snow!!

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  51. I fricking, fracking, farking hate winter too. Just hate it. I can't believe how much more stamina The Man has for shoveling the driveway than I do.

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  52. Ha! Pantyliners?! Are they really? Am I the only one who noticed? You're amazing!

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