Saturday, June 30, 2012

Put Me In The Movies

Have you ever noticed that people in movies are always doing stuff? Even during the transitional filler scenes, when they haven't yet done the thing that they need to do to advance the plot, they’re busy building fences, or having dinner parties, or sailing. There don't seem to be very many movies in which the main characters spend most of their time surfing the net.

Fact: the things that I like to do with most of my time would make for a very boring movie.

Stuff that isn’t worth doing in a movie
  • playing Plants vs Zombies
  • reading ads on Kijiji
  • watching an entire season of So You Think You Can Dance in one day
  • reading blogs (except for your blogs, of course, which would make a fabulous movie)
  • reading a book for the 9th hour in a row*
  • binge eating sour cream and onion chips

* I know that some people will take issue with me adding “reading” to the not-doing-stuff list, but I have a maladaptive reading style. Unless I get very stern with myself, I will spend every daylight hour reading on the couch. And then when it gets dark, I’ll move to the bedroom because the light is better there.


Visual example of not-a-movie

Stuff that would be worth doing in a movie (but that I don't really do very often, or at all)
  • taking guitar lessons
  • painting a picture or a wall
  • writing a novel
  • doing projects in the house
  • having dinner parties**
  • cleaning the house***
  • fighting zombies

** I actually kind of hate having dinner parties. But people in movies have dinner parties all the time.

*** Cleaning the house is not doing stuff in and of itself. But it’s kind of a requirement for actually having a clean house, which is kind of a requirement for hosting dinner parties that I don’t want to have. Who knew, right?


movie-worthy

A few weeks ago, JP decided that we needed a walkway from the street to the front door. JP is a doer. He does stuff.




JP used a pickaxe to break the soil. He's very manly. He does things like join the air force and be a volunteer firefighter and break soil with a pickaxe.








Note to self: read a more cheerful book after finishing A Song of Ice and Fire (the Game of Thrones series).

* * * Please scroll to the end of this post for a brief Game of Thrones interlude * * *

While JP tore up the yard, I got to push the wheelbarrow.


Which honestly? Really isn't that much fun.


As I strained to push the heavy wheelbarrow over the uneven ground, I contemplated the human condition.














OK, maybe not so much the human condition as my own personal condition. But I was definitely contemplating.

It was not a fun day. In fact, it was a miserable day.


But at the end of it, we had a walkway.


It's beautiful. I'm begrudgingly proud. I think I can count it as "doing something".

But if they ever make it into a movie, I will refuse to watch it on principle.

* * * Begin Brief Game of Thrones Interlude * * *

And yes, I realize that interludes should - by definition - be in the middle and not at the end of something. What are you, some kind of vocabulary snob?


Not Your Momma's Cookie made Game of Thrones cake pops!
(note: there is a major spoiler on this site if you haven't finished the first book or the first season of the TV show)

And if you're reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the first time, you can follow along with the entertaining podcasts at Unspoiled, where a married couple shares their reflections after each chapter. They're about halfway through the second book so far.

* * * End Game of Thrones Interlude * * *

63 comments:

  1. Hahhaa I LOVE game of thrones. Except for the first episode which totally and completely horrified me. (http://www.mayorgia.blogspot.com/2012/04/and-then-we-watched-game-of-thrones-and.html)

    Loved your contemplations. I sat in air conditioning today. because it's HOT out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you are super swell at playing plants vs zombies, it might be fun to watch?..same as if you bust out your own dance moves to DWTS! Wheelbarrow Woman does have big screen written all over it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do not know what game of thrones is. A book? A videogame? A movie?! A miniseries!?!?!?!?

    In any case I'm glad that your walkway is beautiful and that you didn't die from heat exhaustion while creating it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Game of Thrones is the first book in a fantasy series by George R. R. Martin. It's recently been made into a TV series, but I haven't seen it yet. It's very violent and filled with impaled heads - hence the "is this as heavy as a severed human head" comment. JP hasn't read the books or seen the show either, so he had no idea what I was talking about. Ha!

      Delete
  4. I just got the first book and have the first season in my queue at Netflix, but I have yet to either read or watch...I'm quite intrigued!

    I mowed the lawn today, which felt good at first and I really love the smell of fresh cut grass. But by the end (we have just under 2 acres and a push mower) I was quite ready to be done. And I felt very much like like you did draped over your wheelbarrow.

    Hopefully tomorrow with less yard work and more sewing will be better!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh how I missed your adorably silly clay figures! The one of you passed out next to the wheel barrow? I die.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1- Aren't you so happy that So You Think You Can Dance is back on?? I think I can dance, but I really can't.
    2- I love sour cream and chips. Have you tried it with the dill pickle ones? Heavenly.
    3-Reading your blog could be a movie because it makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe I could be on a show called "So You Pretend You Can Dance". I love Eliana. LOVE!

      Delete
  7. Thankfully, I am bossy and opinionated enough that my husband never asks for my help doing things. Probably because it will cause him to snap and murder me... and I will have deserved it too.

    Also, the wheelbarrow sequence is like one of my favorite things ever, IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do a lot of nothing reading blogs too. Julie got away with making a movie about her blogging, maybe you will one day too! You are so funny :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am pretty sure that playing the ukulele would count... but the kind of movie I would end up in would probably mean I would have to smash it over someone's head, maybe in a bar fight, and that would upset me.

    And yes. Manual labor is hard. I like to hide when other people are being productive.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your blog could be made into a movie. Writing a blog is doing something, you know, and it's mentioned all the time on TV. It's not all about dinner parties (which, by the way, do not sound like fun at all.)

    ReplyDelete
  11. If anybody else among the millions of bloggers does a clever blog with clay figures like you do, I sure haven't seen. Super, as always.

    ReplyDelete
  12. All that boring stuff you listed would make a great, wacky montage!

    ReplyDelete
  13. That's totally me when I have to help with "PROJECTS!" I hate helping with projects. Like the time when I told my husband, "You can build a house if you want to, and I will help you choose stuff for the house. But beyond that, I want nothing to do with it. I do not want to help with construction." Wanna guess how I spent all my non-work time for the ensuing year? Fortunately, I was mostly in charge of burning scrap wood that couldn't be repurposed anywhere else. And painting.

    I didn't really care that much for Game of Thrones (the book - I haven't seen the series), but those cake pops are pretty awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved the first book, "OK" on the second one, "YAY!" on the third, and "Will this EVER be finished?" on the fourth. Haven't read the fifth yet.

      Delete
    2. Grr - I hate when the in-between books are lame. Makes you not want to continue...

      Delete
  14. Movies are pretty good about some everyday activities, but not others. They do pretty well with things like getting ready/ getting dressed, commuting, and talking on the phone. Internet usage seems to be pretty much linked to plot development.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never really thought about it, but this is so true. This is a really smart comment to a ridiculous story. I'm impressed!

      Delete
  15. I barely get any worthwhile activities accomplished either, so don't feel too bad. And I will definitely have to check out that podcast.

    ReplyDelete
  16. oh I love your posts so glad you had a project walkway to inspire yet another amazing story for us fans even if there was no actual zombies :}

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes - watching movies is sooooo depressing. all the people in them do fun interesting stuff. It's like eating chocolate - really fun while you're doing it but afterwards you feel sick.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yay, people in movies with their busy lives and interesting stuff to do SUCK!
    Di
    X

    ReplyDelete
  19. Stephanie!! I've missed you...but I understand your issues with the melting and the clay... This is too funny and I would say it definitely count as DOING something! You left out something important from movies...carrying the grocery bag with the really long loaf of french bread And the carrots with the long green tops...have you ever in your life bought carrots with the long green tops?!?! I never have...I've never even seen them for sale, anywhere! Glad you're back! Hapyy Sunday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bahaha! So, so true! Actually, i'm going to add to your image, and say that I'm carrying my baguette and my green-topped carrots in the basket of my one-speed granny bike. Boom! Instant movie!

      Delete
  20. Great post, as usual!

    I never thought of "Would this be good in a movie?" but now, thanks to you, I will live my life that way. Goes out front door to get newspaper....... not good in a movie. Checks voicemail........ not good in a movie. Takes nap....... probably not so good in a movie..... Eats 7th cookie in a row...... not good in a movie.

    xxo
    MOV
    ps--love the wheelbarrow scene! (and when I was growing up, I always thought it was "wheelbarrel" ........ not good in a movie)

    ReplyDelete
  21. i could never be in a movie because the heroine always has the best wardrobe and is super fashionable. i live in running gear (it's the summer of the compression sock!) and feel uncomfortable *dressed up* (that is open to interpretation).
    great work on the walkway! yes, that is movie-worthy because the main characters always have fabulous homes and gardens - see, you are on your way!
    loved your clay animations, stephanie! happy canada day!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I would have to agree about my blog making a fabulous movie although I am far to modest to say so myself........ AH, DAMN I did.

    I am pleased to see you back in the land of blogs to help cheer up the world of cyberspace. And I am glad to see the wheelbarrow made it from the last post. Plasticine wheelbarrows are fickle things. The new walkway looks ideal to practice the Hollywood starlet walk and wave technique. Although it does appear (a pier Ha ha h hahhahahhahahhahahhahahahah hhhahaha) to lead to a small grey surrealist boat, just like in the movies.

    Hope all is well as the old Chinese saying goes 'Better to be plasticine than seen plastered'...

    I am told I am very wise...... Oooo Sorry I mean mad.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yay...so happy to see a post from you!
    First of all, I find that if I hold a wheelbarrow for a long time, I end up with blisters or calluses or something that I will whine about for a long time (people don't whine much in movies either..).
    Second, yes, for a while I pictured "adult life" as dinner parties, thanks to the movies. It took me a long time to acknowledge I was not a dinner party throwing kind of person. I also got curious about my friends who had registered for china patterns when they got married and asked them if, years later, they thought that was a worthy request...most of them said no. they never used the china...it wasn't even on display. But, I think it's that "china = dinner parties = sophisticated married life" thing that gets people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We didn't have a traditional wedding, so we never registered for china. Looking back, I do not think that this was a tragedy. Ha!

      Delete
  24. I'm sure watching Plants v Zombies would make an excellent film....They should make a Plants V. Zombies film!! :O x

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am just going to get a boyfriend to read Game of Thrones for me, and maybe bake those cake pops. Oh, I love a good cake pop.

    Dinner parties are the best. I say that because I have always been a guest, and never the hostess.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I misssed you CB! The little guys (your figures) always make me laugh. I love to read and once in a while, I will read the whole day. The problem is that while it is wonderful for me, I don't feel productive. All those chores and things to do call to me. At this point, if I had your talent, I would make a clay figure reading a book on the couch while little wisps of messages float around my head--clean bathrooms, do laundry, clean fridge. And to add to Nellie's comments, I am such a good guest because I appreciate how much work goes into having people over for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You're BACK!!! By the way, I take some offense at the accuracy of your depiction of me lying mad in a wheelbarrow complaining about my life. :) Love the great expressions!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I LOVE your blog!!! I'm a recent follower, and have passed along an award to you - I have linked you to my post so come check it out! You may not 'do' the award thing, but I wanted to pass it along anyway!

    www.hammockinthehoneysuckle.blogspot.com

    Carrie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I don't "do" awards, in that I don't pass them on or post them or do the "7 random things". But I do greatly appreciate them and will acknowledge it on a future post. Thanks so much!

      Delete
  29. Oh, how I've missed you and your clay self!

    And BTW, you don't slay zombies for a couple of hours a day? You must have such a mundane life. I'm sorry. My life would make a great movie: clean the house in a bikini and heels by day, take harp lessons at 5, then slay vampires and zombies from 8 to 12.

    When I was a kid, I told my mom that they should make a movie of my life. She said it would make a really boring movie. Her truthfulness still hurts. ; )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kind of love this comment. Except that I think you should be wearing a green and white polka-dotted dress while you're cleaning the house in your heels.

      Delete
  30. Ah this is hilarious. I love your scenes. It's good to have you back! Yard-work is hard. Be glad you have a do-er husband though. I love that. Mine does physical labor all day already so getting him to do yard-work takes all kinds of subtle and sly manipulation. Like back rubs and chicken dinners and loud sighs.

    Also, wow with the shotgun scenario. You really don't want to have a dinner party ;) I like to cook for people so I wish I had friends to cook for. But once they are eating I like to go in my bedroom and hide. I don't want to actually talk to people. Just feed them. Maybe I should open up a soup kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You are delightful! Another hilarious post! I've missed you!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Watching all of So You Think You Can Dance could be a prelude to awesomeness. You can claim you're studying dance in order to achieve your long hidden dream. Then when you want to get out of it all you have to do is fake a knee injury and you're off the hook.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You're back (or back now) loved this, surprised about wheelbarrow pushing, looks fun. I have been working on this book proposal and spent the better part of the weekend inside, doing nothing. I am so good at it, I could give you a run for your money. Write, surf (the web), eat, read and then repeated it all. Never been so happy.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Glad you're back!
    I, too, hate dinner parties...mostly because I just generally don't like people.
    Which one of those head pops is George Bush?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Manfriend is a doer, also. His recent activity...planting a garden box. He likes me to come outside with him (where it is hot) and admire his tomatoes, jalapenos and cucumbers. He has recently taken to pickling his cucumbers which he is extremely proud of. He pickled 3 whole cucumbers the other day. Three. Who pickles 3 cucumbers? Manfriend. Manfriend does that. Because he is a doer...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And WHY isn't this an illustrated story on your blog?

      Delete
  36. It's wonderful to see you and your adorable clay figures back again, Steph! Phenomenal post as usual! :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Replies
    1. I don't know if you'll come back and see this. But for some reason I can't seem to comment on my blog. Story of my bloggy life these days!

      Delete
  38. Please tell me that when you were contemplating the human condition, there was just the slightest hint of whine in the voice in your head. Because reading it with a slight whine made it that much funnier.

    And I totally get the cleaning = dinner parties thing. I actually would love to have dinner parties, but once I realize it requires cleaning my house I realize I don't want to have them THAT much.

    And welcome back! You've been super duper missed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Slightest hint of whine"? You don't know me at all, do you? I don't hint. When I whine, I WHINE. Ha!

      Delete
  39. My life wouldn't even make an interesting flip book, nevermind a full-length movie.

    I also wanted to say thanks for commenting on my blog, and apologize that my last post was one of the more fanatical posts I had written. ><
    There's really no need to be frightened. Thanks again! :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Glad your back. I always wonder why very few people in movies actually live in the type of houses that most of us live in? Why do they never meet for lunch at McDonald's or Wendy's, it's always some nice restaurant that serves wine and salad. Yet they suck me in everytime.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Yay, I knew the wheelbarrow would play into your next post somehow. And who wouldn't wonder if a clod of sod weighs as much as a human head? The grass is just too much like hair. LOL. I hear you on the dinner parties, too. Potlucks all the way, but they never have potlucks in movies.

    P.S. Thanks for the note on my blog. I got my stitches out and now have a lovely steri-strip grid on my chin for 5 more days, but my bike is all fixed up...$232 later.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thanks for the dose of therapy... *chuckling*
    I love your "stating-the-obvious-moments" as well, like the physical labour one - it's physical and laborious hehe! But you do it with a certain style, assisted by the clay people who lighten up the atmosphere, as per usual...

    ReplyDelete
  43. Cracking up (really--I'm sitting here, laughing out loud). Thanks for the chuckles, buddy! I'm a big fan of the perturbed squiggly mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Such a great laugh! Love the wheelbarrow drama!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I love your "reading a book for the 9th hour in a row" because that's so me... And I do the same thing with moving from one room to another because of light changing (or I just no longer want to sit on the couch, I now want to sit on the bed). I hope someone does make a movie of you and JP making a walk way. I think it would be hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  46. blerg we did the clear the yard of massive amounts of fallen trees due to horrible wind storm... in 105 degree heat and I think your pictures capture how I felt. After the first day, I thought, you know what: those trees will still be in the yard when it's autumn and there's power and showers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. o and I love the cake pops. and I would read all day too if the kids didn't demand food and whatnot.

      Delete
  47. I enjoyed how you (or the clay you) was sprawled out on the ground in exasperation and, by sheer force of will, ended up *in" the wheelbarrow so as to make the complaining that much more dramatic. Made me giggle.

    ReplyDelete