Monday, May 7, 2012

Fanning the Flames

I'm usually in a pretty good mood when I'm driving to work.


It's an easy fifteen minute drive along quiet country highways with barely any traffic. What's not to like?


What? We only get one radio station here. And anyway, I kind of like that song.

But one morning last week, due to too much time and a bad clothing decision in the morning...


For the sake of this story, please pretend that the background changes in every scene, otherwise it might look either like I'm standing still or like everyone in rural Nova Scotia lives in the exact same backyard shed.

...I found myself suddenly racked with stress and worry.
















And so, grumbling and irritated, I turn around and drive all the way home. As though to mock my pain, the area's only radio station plays Nickelback. Again. My misery knows no bounds.

I pull into the driveway, leave the car door open and race into the house and down the stairs to the basement. The iron is unplugged, as I knew it would be. I say it out loud: "The iron is unplugged!" I pull out my cell phone and take a picture.


I run back up the stairs and jump in the car. Now I'm running late. So much for getting an early start.

I drive over the bridge that marks the boundary of my village. Halfway across, a thought flits across my brain:


Yes.

Absolutely.

I looked at it. I said it out loud. I took a picture.

The iron is most definitely unplugged.

I'm almost positive.

I check the picture on my cell phone at the stop sign, just to be sure.

All is well.




* * * *

Author's note: the iron is the only source of this behaviour. No matter what I do, I'm always certain that I left it plugged in and turned on, and that my house is going to burst into flames with Chase the Wonderdog stuck inside. And that, friends, is one of the many, many reasons why I hate to iron. Next time, I'll just sleep an extra ten minutes and wear a wrinkled shirt.

I'm jumping into the weekly Yeah Write writing contest with this fabulous blogging and writing community. Come join us! (Not officially open until tomorrow morning.)

203 comments:

  1. I loved this! At least once a month I get a call from my neighbor asking me to unplug an iron, blow out a candle, turn off the oven...

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    1. Maybe I just need to become better friends with my neighbour.

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  2. Stephanie, Stephanie, How do you do this funny, wonderful blog every day? I have had moments like this when I am sure some door is unlocked or the iron is on, but I have this engineer husband who is a "checker" who checks these little things, like the oven etc. The answer to ADD is OCD. It's all good.

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    1. Easy: I don't. Ha! Haven't blogged in a week, it will probably be about that long before my next story. And I hear you on the ADD/OCD thing. We joke that my husband's OCD (he's a checker...that's the perfect word) and I'm ADHD, so it all balances out in the end. Mostly.

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  3. Quickest cure for this? Don't own an iron. A wet washcloth and dryer can get the wrinkles out of most clothing items in 10-20 minutes. Problem solved!

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    1. Totally agree!
      Ashley S

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    2. So true! And i won't have to worry about whether or not I've turned off the dryer, since I'll be wearing the clothes that were in the dryer. Perfect!

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    3. I do the washcloth in the dryer trick, too! I recommend it! don't really remember the last time I ironed something. :)

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  4. I had this mental battle this morning with the door!!! I was talking to my husband as I was locking it, and we decided to walk to the train station instead of drive, and I kept thinking that I should turn back and check to make sure I locked it. Sometimes I do the "say it aloud" thing too. ha ha!

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    1. I'm mostly ok about the door. It's so automatic to lock it. But once I start questioning myself, it's hard to get it out of my mind.

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  5. I always worry about whether or not I locked the door at home. --.--

    On a side note, once in my high school home economics class (hey, it was the only elective that fit into my schedule; art was a no-go), on the very Friday the prof was teaching us how to starch and iron shirts, one girl apparently forgot to unplug her fire hazard once the class was over.

    That's right. The iron was left on THE WHOLE WEEKEND. Thankfully, it was in an erect position and my school wasn't burnt down. :P

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. OK...but that's actually a bit of a relief to hear. Because it didn't burn down. So that means that if I check my iron 3 times, but the fourth time I'm still not sure that it's unplugged...there's a good chance that the house won't burn down. no?

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  6. Yes this is a common problem with all sorts of things. We all have at least one thing that we think did I do that. I am not sure if it is better to sort of remember that you had done something and might need to go back and check, as in the iron might be on. Or just remember nothing remain obliviously happy all day but find you have burnt the house down but cant remember how.

    Oh by the way not sure if you know but the A to Z has a reflections link page on the go open for the next five days

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    1. While I could see the appeal of just staying blissfully unaware, I'd feel REALLY bad if I killed the dog. I mean, really REALLY bad. Thanks for the heads-up on the A-Z link page! I didn't know about it until you commented. I went and linked up.

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    2. Your comment numbers are huge it must be turning into a monster

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  7. Hahah. Maybe get one that has an automatic off switches?

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    1. Not a bad idea! Nah, I'm going to stick with my original plan of just not ironing stuff.

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  8. I always do this with my hair straighteners, I worry for ages that they're still on even if I clearly remember turning them off.

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    1. Not a problem for me, since I never ever straighten my hair. But I could definitely see it being an issue for me if I did... (If I were you, I'd run up and check right now. Just in case. While you're doing that, I'll go make sure that the straightener I haven't used in over a year hasn't miraculously plugged itself in.)

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  9. Cheers for wrinkled shirts!!
    I share this iron phobia with you---it can be downright day-wrecking!

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    1. I always struggle with the decision: do I go home and check, or do I just go to work and hope for the best. I just hate worrying, so I usually go home. Only once. Ha!

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  10. it's the stove for my husband- he often forgets to turn off the stove in the morning. i worry about hooking the kids' carseats especially when i can't get a visual & they seem to be moving a lot.
    what i should worry about is leaving my keys &/or wallet on the roof of the car- I do this more often than you'd think possible

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    1. Oooooh...the stove thing would actually be scary. I'm pretty safe on that front, since my stove cookers turn red when they're on, so it's pretty obvious. But yeah, I could see that being a concern. And if I ever have kids, I think I'll be worried about forgetting them in the car.

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  11. Ha ha! That's me EVERY TIME I leave the house.

    When the Lil man was three, we were halfway down the streets when I had a nagging feeling I'd forgotten something.

    I had. Lil man had been walking down the dirty streets of London bare footed. Now he's ten, I still check to make sure that he has his shoes on.

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    1. Ha! That's so funny. Does it expose my biases that I'm imagining him in ripped brown shorts and a waist coat and a brown hat? And he's saying "Please sir, I want some more"? I mean, that's what ragamuffins in London do, right?

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    2. My son often goes out without shoes. It's mostly okay...unless you happen to be on the way to the cinema...

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  12. hahahaha i do this all the time, but about everything! my hair straightener, stove, anything! lol

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    1. Honestly, it's a wonder any of us get anything done at all... Oh, wait.

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  13. After I accidentally forgot my hair straightener was on last year (I didn't actually leave yet, I did my hair and about an hour went back into the bathroom and I was like "Huh, it's hot in here... SHIT." and then shut it off) I'm always worried I'll forget to shut it off again so I unplug it and take a mental picture. Worrying about making sure the door is locked is a whole other story. There's no way to reassure me of that.

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    1. Oh, that's really scary. I almost feel like I should go check my hair straightener (that I haven't actually used in a year). I find talking out loud helps. I'll say "Look at me, I'm locking the door". Try it!

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  14. I LOVE this one! The things we do every day - locking doors and turning switches - just don't stick in our psyches with all the other things that need our attention. (That's MY excuse...) Thanks for the laugh!

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    1. I hate being on auto-pilot! It just makes for stress later on down the road. (sometimes literally down the road, when I realize that I've driven a long way on auto-pilot and I'm not quite sure if I've missed my turn-off)

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  15. Put your clothes between two heavy books while you brush your teeth in the morning. They're just gonna get wrinkled again anyhow.

    (You're not alone. My OCD thing is the garage door. Did it close all the way? Crap.)

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    1. I guess we all have our thorns! I don't have a garage. So I guess that's one less thing to worry about.

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  16. That is just like the worst feeling in the world, I do it with everything... did I lock the door, did I switch off the straightners, did I close the fridge? did I switch off the tap, did I flush the toilet... which is my most distressing one because as it stands my boyfriend is unaware that I am a human that poops! Love Elle xo

    p.s. you put your iron away REALLY neatly... I assume the task of wrapping it up so nicely like that would cement the event in your brain...ah well

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    1. Bahaha @ the toilet. We wouldn't want your boyfriend disillusioned, that's for sure! OK, confession time: I already deleted the original picture that I took on my cell. That's a new picture that I took this morning. My husband was ironing yesterday. For HOURS. Which is why it was put away so carefully. He's very...ahem...particular about how he puts things away. I thought about unwinding the cord for the picture, but then remembered that I'm lazy and didn't want to wind it up again.

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  17. You're not alone, Stephanie. I always re-check the iron at Least 2 times!! Better safe than sorry, right?!

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    1. Exactly! Although I prefer the expression: better safe than a smoking pile of ash and rubbish.

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  18. Clothing that requires ironing or "dry clean only?" Not going to make it out of the store. Or will be worn wrinkly and dirty. Getting dressed/wearing clothes requires enough work and effort as is :)

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    1. Oh, I'll bring it home. I just won't dry-clean it or (usually) iron it. I have never dry-cleaned a piece of clothing in my life. I don't even know where the dry-cleaner is!

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    2. I have no idea where I'd take dry-cleaning either, haha. Definitely have put a "dry clean only" cardigan through the wash a few times, and it hasn't fallen apart yet. I think that label's just a lie to keep the mysteriously-located dry cleaners in business...

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  19. Loved this! I can so relate. My worry is the coffee pot. I'm always trying to remember if I turned it off. Once I even called my neighbor and sent her over to check. (Luckily, she had a key.) Come to think of it, I also worry about the dryer; I don't like to leave it running when I'm gone.

    I've gone back home before, too. So frustrating...

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    1. Thanks for making me glad that I don't drink coffee! No, I won't leave the dryer on when I'm not home either. Or when I'm in bed.

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  20. OMG. Can totally relate to this on several levels: a.) I, too, love that cute little song and feel slightly guilty. b.) there is never a good way to prove to my brain that I unplugged the iron. c.) one time, when I had to convince myself that I had, in fact, unplugged the iron, and then returned home, the front door had ungodly amounts of heat radiating outwards as I reached for it. My heart started beating really hard, and I was sure the inside of the house was burning down, through the front door. When I finally got the courage to open it, I realized it was because it was close to 100 degrees outside. Then I felt foolish. It has not, unfortunately, helped me overcome my iron-plugged-in fears.

    Love the car and background, BTW.

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    1. No guilt. Just sing it at the top of your longs! And I felt your terror at the hot door...that really would be scary.

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  21. I used to do this too, usually with my curling iron. But now that my house is ridicuously baby proofed I no longer have to worry. Now the questiona I'm constantly asking myself is whether I've remembered the diaper bag. Usually this question is asked when I've reached my destination and nope...I never have the diaper bag.

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    1. But do you have the BABY?

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    2. Yes! I do. Otherwise I wouldn't be worried about the daper bag, as I don't normally wear diapers. lol...well kinda. I guess in a way once a month I wear diapers...sigh. And then when I get old I'll probably wear them...just like Whoopi Goldberg.

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  22. When I was a kid the dreaded Did I turn off the iron? invaded our family car as we were headed for a weekend of fun somewhere. I have no idea now where we were going, all I remember is that my dad turned the car around after we'd been driving for a couple of hours. Of course the stupid iron was off and then we stayed home. Wah.
    That iron is like an evil genius.

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    1. Oh. That's actually a really sad story. Your dad must have been maaaaaaad...

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  23. Too funny! I love your "animation"!

    Every time I leave the house I worry that I have forgotten a kid!?! Luckily it has never happened...

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    1. It's probably better to forget a kid at home than to forget them somewhere else, all things considered.

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  24. Your sequence here reminds me of my conversations with myself about the stove.

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    1. And that's why I only cook in the microwave in the morning before work.

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  25. again I applaud you on being so creative I love your posts. I DO NOT iron yes i wear alot of wrinkled shirts but it is worth the battle in my head the dreaded iron has been left on & our neighbors aren't close :{ I have safety proofed our place no cooking in the morning and only scentsy burners so no candles being left on....wait did I??? No I am getting my butt to work see ya

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    1. No, I really think you should go home and check. Ha! We don't really burn candles...never really got in the habit.

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  26. I'm glad I'm not the only one that worries about things like this. I don't iron any more (that's the advantages of working at home) but I am always wondering, did I unplug the toaster? I'm always freaked out that the toaster is going to catch on fire when I'm not home. The things that worry us.....

    betty

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    1. Oh dear. I've never even thought to be worried about plugged-in toaster. My husband, however, NEVER leaves any small appliances plugged in. He follows me around unplugging stuff. Maybe that's why my house has never burned down.

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  27. That was hilarious! Not the actual situation that caused it. But the way you approached it after the fact. I love your clay creations. Even your RSS and other buttons are custom clay. So creative :-)

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    1. Thanks! My mom helped me make the social media buttons. :)

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  28. I don't even own an iron. But maybe you should just take a picture of it after you unplug it every day so that you don't have to drive back and check.

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    1. Except then I'll start wondering: did I really take that picture? Or is it yesterday's? Ha!

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  29. And THAT is why I don't iron! So instead I have to worry about the oven...or the crock-pot (and isn't that the point of the crock-pot? To be left on unattended!?)

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    1. Ha! So true! My husband worried about the crockpot at first, but now he's ok with it. I don't use it much. But it's mainly because I'm lazy and hate to clean it, not because I'm afraid it will burn down the house.

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  30. I hate irons but love Nickleback. And Nove Scotia looks lovely this time of year!

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    1. You love Nickelback? I kind of thought you guys were mythical creatures!

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  31. I used to do that all the time I just bought more ins and hope the damn place burns down now. Well not really. I love my animals.
    Still it's annoying. I used to leave the stove on when I made cowboy coffee before I went to work. I got kicked out. got a pot with a timer now.

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    1. I love my animal too. Otherwise I wouldn't be so worried...I'd just shrug and assume that everything was ok. Timers are probably the best way to go...

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  32. And this is why I don't own any irons. Or cars. Or houses. I'm basically a filthy filthy hobo.

    Anyhoo...great work on the awesome post! I've added myself to your followers list so please keep 'em coming :)

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    1. Honestly, I think your plan is as good as any.

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  33. I had to take my daughter to church (an unusual event. We don't usually go to church but she goes to the Lutheran preschool) this weekend, and as I was getting her into her wrinkly little skirt, I thought "Hmmm. I should probably iron that." Then I thought "Ha! Who am I kidding! I'd better go find a not-too-wrinkled shirt to wear."

    It was a rough weekend, though, because I went to the bank on Saturday to cash a large check for my husband. I had the envelope of cash in my hand as we left the bank. I thought I put it in my purse, so I checked once I got in the car (6 feet from the bank door). I couldn't find the envelope. I searched the car twice, my purse twice, and was freaking out. I looked around the car and on our path back to the door. I finally found the envelope...in my purse. Sigh.

    But in regards to one of your commenters and the baby bag...a former coworker used to drop his infant son off at his in-laws house on his way to work, so they could watch him. One day, apparently, the baby was really quiet, because my coworker got to work, got out of the car, and noticed that the car seat was still in the car, which mean the baby was still in the car. He had to turn around and go to his in-laws to drop the little guy off...

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    1. At least he noticed before he went in to work! That must have been so stressful about the envelope of cash. Ack. I once walked home from the bank with an envelope filled with 3000 dollars (to pay some contractors). The entire time (only about a five min walk), I was so paranoid...I was afraid I'd lose it, or be the victim of a random mugging. Honestly, I don't know how mobsters can walk around with bags full of cash. Doesn't it give them a stomachache?

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  34. Replies
    1. Agreed. Glad we're on the same wavelength.

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  35. ah, this is a true stephanie blog post - i can tell you enjoyed writing and pictur-ing this post, stephanie!
    i like that song, too - but i also like nickelback (please forgive me).
    i have to share: last week, i got home from work and could not remember locking the store door. i went back out in the pouring rain, drove over (it's a five minute walk, but i hopped in my car since it was 9:30 p.m.) and ...the door was locked - of course! i am going to steal your take a photo idea.
    i do not own an iron so i have solved that dilemma. i suggest you follow suit!
    thanks for the wonderfully entertaining read!

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    1. So much better! And JP coloured the car for me after I mangled the hood, so it was a group effort. OK, you're the second commenter who likes Nickelback. I thought you were fabled creatures...I didn't realize that you were REAL! Ha! But no, I could never hold anything against you. And I'm amazed at how many non-ironers there are out there...here I thought I was weird.

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  36. I do the same thing with my alarm clock before I go to bed. I may check the thing 13 times before really believing what's before my eyes. And the one time you somehow read "AM" as "PM" is the one time that reinforces the whole phobia.

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    1. OH! THIS THIS! I forgot that I did that. But I do. And then I'll wake up in the middle of the night with my heart in my throat, certain that I forgot to set the alarm and am now late for work.

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  37. Excellent post! I'm going to pretend that this is why I never iron. I have left the stove burners and the oven on, on different occasions, so I have a serious paranoia they're always on. The clothes dryer, too - that lint will burn your house down in a heartbeat!
    Strangely it never occurs to me that I might've left the door unlocked, though I have several times.

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    1. I never run the clothes dryer when I'm not around, or even when I'm in bed. Gotta keep those flames in check! Honestly, if it was just me, I wouldn't worry too much about the door. I mean...really...it's not such a big deal to a full-house sweep of every room (including closets) with the dog before bed. But if I left it unlocked and my husband came home before me, I'd NEVER hear the end of it.

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  38. Are you me, but without the cool clay sculptures? I did this same crap this morning...Hilarious, as usual!

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    1. I'm you. You're me. Did you drive all the way? I don't know if I should be happy that I'm not the only one, or sad that there are so many of us.

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  39. oooh that's an interesting contest

    your day is like my pre-sleep. No wonder I'm insomniac

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    1. Check it out and then go back and vote on Thursday! There's some really good writing linked there every week!

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  40. Now I feel I can tell you, safe from ridicule, that I make sure the knobs on the gas stove are in upright position about 15 times before I go to bed at night. And then sometimes I still come downstairs and check them again.

    The iron isn't a problem for me because I never do it. I don't even know where the iron is in our house right now (true story).

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    1. This is a ridicule-free zone. Unless people are ridiculing themselves...that is both accepted and encouraged.

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  41. The steam from the shower works wonders - and then I usually remember to shut off the shower......
    great idea to take a picture!!!

    http://lgoogoogaga.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/bullets-for-breakfast/

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    1. Not a bad idea! I think I`ll stick to the dryer for now, but the shower's a good alternative.

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  42. Oh i can so relate!! How many times have I turned around to check that my flat iron was off when I absolutely knew it was. The cell phone pic is genius!

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    1. See, it's a really really good thing that I don't iron my hair. I can't handle any more fire-causing stress in my life.

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  43. Yeah. This is why I hate to iron too. Love the pics! FUNNY! Erin

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    1. There are so many of us! OK, I've already started an anti-CAPTCHA campaign. Maybe I need to start an anti-iron campaign.

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  44. huh, people really do iron? ;)

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    1. So they say. I think they're a myth. Like people who love Nickelback.

      (Except that I know they're not a myth, since my husband irons.)

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  45. Love this! I've managed to get most of my appliances with auto shut off thingies for just this reason, but I routinely freak myself out and have to go home to double check I blew out the candle.

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    1. Auto shut off thingies (is that the technical term?) sounds like the perfect thing for me. Next purchase!

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  46. For me it's always "did I lock the car door?" when I'm out and about. Always have to quadruple check and even then I turn around and walk back sometimes to verify. Sigh.

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    1. I honestly don't worry too much about the car door, although I'm pretty well automatic with it by now. But I do check the backseat before getting in, just in case...

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  47. I feel your pain. Made me giggle, May mum used to often ring home from the car in a panic - have I left my straighteners/iron on?! She never had. Once I went to work though, bear in mind this involved two forty minute bus jounreys. I was halfway there (just got off first bus) when straightener-panic set in - did I switch them off? I had to ring work, say I was running late and go back, and it's a good thing I did because they were still on! Disaster averted!

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    1. You are LUCKY that you went back. House, meet flame.

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  48. Heart this! Due to a coal shortage, Santa gave out Nickelback CDs to bad boys and girls last Christmas.

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    1. Bahahaha! No, not even bad girls and boys deserve Nickelback.

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  49. Oh, I do this too, with everything. Blow dryer, heating pad, coffee pot. But, not to be a downer, years ago, my house burned because the iron was plugged in, maybe even on. Never knew for sure if it was actually on, but the investigators determined the fire was in fact due to the iron. So, better safe (and late) than sorry.

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    1. This made me sad. I'm so sorry that your house burned down. It must have been devastating. I imagine that you're not a big fan of the iron anymore...

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  50. I'm just a little in love with taking pictures to chastise the other me who wonders...

    I would kill for some open airwaves. Living near Baltimore and DC, there are no "open" stations so getting the little dealer that plays my iPod through stereo is ridiculous because it's always static and crap.

    I'm sure you are jealous of the 27 hip hop slow jam stations I can tune in... Aren't ya?

    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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    1. Am I jealous? Hmmmm...depends. If they're playing Nickelback for the fourteenth time that day...give me hip hop slow jams!

      (To all Nickelback fans [if you do, indeed, exist], I apologize for all of the Nickelback hate. Except that I'm not really sorry.)

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  51. I was honestly laughing out loud on this one, and I don't use that phrase lightly, because WAY too many people say "lol" and don't mean it. But I mean it. Trust me. This was SO familiar to me. I don't do the iron...basically because I never iron, but I do this with my flat iron. ALL. THE. TIME. I'm crazy when it comes to that thing. I'll even say it aloud, like you did, and I'll STILL doubt myself. WTF?

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    1. Glad I made you laugh! It was worth being late. Ha! You're not the first commenter to mention the flat iron...it's a good thing my hair refuses to be flattened, or else I'd have one more thing to burn down my house.

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  52. Oh how I adore your clever, creative, posts! :D And this is one I can definitely relate to--unfortunately.

    For me it's usually wondering about whether or not I closed the garage door. I've come back to the house several times because I had to check. Of course, it's always been closed.

    So now I always go through the "Garage door closed!" thing out loud. But then I wonder if I'm just saying it aloud out of habit and I really forgot to close it. Makes me crazy! LOL

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    1. Thank you. And also I'm sorry. Ha! And I know exactly what you mean: "Did I really close it/lock it/turn it off? Or did I just say it? Or did I actually say it yesterday? Crap, I may as well just go home and check."

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  53. I do this with my straightening iron pretty much everyday. So glad I'm not alone. :P

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    1. I need to count how many people have straightening iron issues. The official number is: a lot. Seriously, you're all making me glad that I have hair that refuses to be straightened, or I'd have one more thing to worry about.

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  54. i am the same way - but the cell phone photo is genius! also, i am impressed you did not just turn the iron off but coiled the cord so neatly.

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    1. Confession: That wasn't my original photo, since I had already deleted the one on my cell phone. I took that picture yesterday after my husband finished with the iron. He's very careful about how he puts things away (by careful, read "anal"). I thought about unwinding the cord for the picture, but then decided that it was too much effort.

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  55. You are hilarious.
    I gave up ironing a very long time ago for this exact reason.
    If I see a piece of clothing in a store, and I love said clothing, I will not buy it if it requires ironing. I've got enough problems as it is, I don't need an iron on top of it all. Irons are stoopid.

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    1. Stoopid indeed. And I'll buy the clothes...I'll just wear them wrinkly. Or ask JP to iron them for me. Ha!

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  56. I do the iron one all the time

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    1. It seems to be - sadly - a nearly universal affliction.

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  57. This is why I do not even own an iron anymore. This scenario played out one too many times in my house and I gave up. I shall be wrinkled and unkempt forever.

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    1. Wrinkled and unkempt...you sound like a WRITER! Writers unite. Throw out the irons. And burn the bras. But just be careful...flames can spread.

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  58. This is exactly what I do!!! I know that I turned off my straightening iron, but yet I get a little nagging feeling questioning whether or not I really did. And then I imagine Lucee, trapped inside hiding, too frightened of the fire and the fire fighters. I live close to my office so I run home to check. Sometimes I go several times and make up other excuses on why I'm leaving because I don't want people to know I'm crazy. I will try taking a cell phone picture. That is a great idea.
    Oh, and I love that song, too. : )

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    1. Oh, don't give me mental pictures of sad dogs stuck inside burning houses. It's just...bad, bad, bad. The cell phone picture works. But date it. Because otherwise you'll find yourself wondering if you took that picture today, or the last time you ironed.

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  59. I do that all of the time, but it's so much funnier when you do it!

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    1. Irritating and neurotic things are generally funnier when someone else does them. Ha!

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  60. It's funny, I struggled with OCD, but I was never troubled by thoughts like those. I think it was because, if I thought I left the stove on, it didn't bother me to see my apartment in flames.

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    1. I love my house, but the house worries me less than the dog. The house is just stuff. But yeah, I guess we all find something to worry about!

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  61. just what I needed this morning, I do the same thing (as do others it seems from your comments). I'm just impressed you iron period.

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    1. Oh, but 99.9% of the time I don't. And when I do, I don't do a very good job. My husband is like an ironing sensei, so if I really need something ironed, I usually ask him.

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  62. Ironing is the cruelest joke to women ever. I refuse. Even if it was 1960 and I was a housewife, I'd refuse. I will not iron. Ever. OK, maybe once. But I stand by my position that it's stupid.

    Having said that, yes, it's always off. Except one time that it wasn't and I went home and there it was, all hot on the table. Lovely. PS, I'm not the one who left it on, since I refuse to iron.

    Fun post! Love the pics!

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    1. Really? That would have FREAKED ME OUT! I'm glad your house didn't burn down. And if it had, it wouldn't have been your fault. You know, since you never iron.

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  63. I used to always wonder if I locked the door or turned off the lights. I think it was my ADHD.

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    1. I blame a lot of things on that. Even if I don't really have it. Or at least I have no proof.

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  64. This is the story of my life except it just involves me running to the car and back to the house a gazillion times. First I forget my lunch, then my water bottle, then my gym clothes. It just keeps going.

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    1. Oh, that's me too. And every time I think to myself "Do I really HAVE to go back for it, or can I do without for today?"

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  65. I didn't own an iron until a couple of months ago. I use the dryer to iron clothes - terrible but true. You might try it however you may start to worry about the possibility of dryer lint catching on fire.
    Really funny post. (-:

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    1. The dryer is my very good friend. If I have enough time, then that's definitely my first choice.

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  66. Look at you, with 133 comments! Your little bloggy has come a long way :-) Just goes to show, following what interests you rather than some other blogging format is quite attracting. <--awkward phrasing <--too lazy to edit

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    1. Seriously! I'm really surprised at how many comments I get. Honestly, my pageview-to-comment ratio is really high, since I only get about 125 visitors on days when a new post goes up. But I'm having so much fun with it. I lost 90% of my old readers (and - to be fair - I also stopped reading about 90% of the blogs that i used to read), but I'm still so happy that I made the switch. And I'm so, so happy that you and I still visit each other. :)

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    2. And also...to be fair...more than half of the comments are from me. Ha!

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  67. Hilarious. This is what my brain sounds like at night. (Did I lock the door? Yes. Wait. Did I?) But I don't iron, for this reason. And not because I'm lazy. Nope.

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    1. The trick is to NOT THINK when you're in bed. It's not easy, I know, but once you start thinking, you're pretty much screwed.

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  68. This right here is why I don't own an iron and only use the crock pot when I'll be home the whole time. And then laboriously clean it and hide it back under the counter and pretend it doesn't exist.

    (Love your car, by the way.)

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    1. And labouriously cleaning the crockpot is why I barely use it at all. Except once in a while for stew. Mmmmmm...stew....it's worth the cleaning.

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    2. For me, it's chili. I make really kick-ass-tasty chili. I'd even clean the rest of the kitchen if it meant I got to eat the chili. And that's saying a lot.

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  69. Lots of people do this, but you've managed to turn it into a super-duper-entertaining experience...
    (You had me giggling non-stop, till my eyes watered, and my hubby must be wondering if I'm losing it... going slighlty "cuckoo")

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    1. I'm strangely relieved to know that there are so many of us who have to drive home and check on things! Sorry I made your husband doubt your sanity.

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  70. I worry that I'm supposed to be somewhere. I'll be driving along, singing Nickleback (don't judge-that's catchy shit) when it hits me. OH MY GOD! Was I supposed to be somewhere right this very minute? Am I late for something? Is anyone expecting me ANYWHERE? Where's my calender? Where's my god-damned calender? I grab my phone, check my calender and then *usually* bask in the relief that I haven't screwed up. Occassionally, I have screwed up and then I drive dangerously and swear a lot.

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    1. Oh, I'm judging. I AM JUDGING! (Not really. There are 2 or 3 other commenters who agree with you. You guys could form a fan club.) I do that at night. I'll be almost asleep and then - PANIC! Did i forget to do something?

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  71. Yesss! This happens to me, too. Only it's about locking the car. Did I lock the car? And then I ask my husband or my kids...did I lock the car? And 'round and 'round I go.
    Sorry about Nickelback. I just don't get them.

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    1. It's even worse in Canada, since radios have to play a certain percentage of Canadian music. That translates to EVEN MORE NICKELBACK! I don't worry about the car doors...but I do worry about locking my keys in the car.

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    2. They do?! I didn't know that, but it explains a LOT!...damn Canadians...

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  72. You are too funny (and sounds just like me!). I'm a late comer from the A-Z challenge, wish I would have found you during the challenge but just glad I found you either way :)

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    1. Welcome Martha! I'm much easier to keep up with outside of the challenge, since I only post once a week or so. :)

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  73. Ok, I LOVE these clay figures! What gives? How in the world did you come up with this? I loved that you took a picture to prove to yourself the iron was in fact unplugged. Hee Hee.

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    1. I wanted an illustrated blog, but then I remembered how hard it was to draw. Ha!

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  74. HA! Story of my life! I was once so convinced I'd left the hair straightener on that I gave my house keys to the courier at work and she went to my house and checked for me. It was off, of course. Of course.

    Thank you for your lovely, lovely comment! And four years single? I've got some years on you but that definitely gives me some hope!

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    1. Courier! That's smart! I wonder if we have a courier at work...

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  75. This is great! The iron, the door - both go through my head all the time. Oh! And "Did I put the dogs back in the house?" I freak out over that one too. Funny thing - I've never ACTUALLY left the door unlocked or the iron off or the dogs outside, I just think like a crazy person, I guess.

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    1. Ha! If I even TRIED to leave the dog outside, he'd let me know within 15 seconds. Well, if you're going to leave the iron, at least the dogs will be safe outside.

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  76. I just wrote a hilarious comment but was signed in as a different profile and now it's gone. So you're just going to have to take my word that it was hilarious.

    I don't have the iron problem because I do not iron. Maybe like once every six months. I think you should just buy new clothes when the ones you own now need to be ironed. I know, I should have a column in Good Housekeeping.

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    1. I would buy that magazine if your story's title was on the cover. And I would read it while eating chocolate and wearing wrinkly clothes.

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  77. Stephanie you need to stop ironing :) Easy peasy problem solved.

    I always worry that I left the straightener on. So I no longer do my hair.

    Or I worry that I left the oven on. So I don't cook.

    Finally, I worry that I didn't lock the door. So guess what insane thing I do now? Every morning I hide the possessions I care about - computers - and say goodbye to my cats really intensely just in case it's the last time, every morning.

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    1. Oh dear. This comment made me laugh out loud, but I kind of feel bad about it. The idea of you saying your last good-byes to your cats every day...it's both funny and sad.

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  78. Replies
    1. I'm picturing you clutching your pearls: "but think about the CHILDREN". Ha! (Errr...I really don't know if this comment makes any sense to anyone but me. But I think it's funny, so I'm going with it.)

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  79. I think unfounded worry is the exercise of a bored mind. Problem is--it becomes a habit. Funny, well-depicted blog. I'm glad I stopped by.

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    1. Is my mind bored? Maybe. You know, I haven't really considered that possibility. I don't THINK I'm bored, but maybe I am. (And this comment is in no way facetious...I definitely do worry more now than I used to.)

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  80. And this is why I don't iron.

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    1. Thank you. I think we should form a club: "Bloggers Against Ironing".

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  81. It's time to invest in an iron that shuts itself off after 10 minutes of disuse. Buy it. . . then watch it. . . confirm for yourself that it actually does what it says it does. And then HOPEFULLY rest easy.

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    1. And then I'll worry about whether or not the automatic shut-off is broken...

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  82. I do this all the time, except with my oven. I cook constantly, and I always worry I still left it on.

    ...I never do.

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    1. You never do. Except for that one time that you will, and then your house will burn down.

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  83. Hello! I know you don't do the awards that are passed around, but I just wanted to let you know that I linked to your blog because I love it! Hope you're having a wonderful day!

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  84. I avoid that problem by refusing to touch the iron. At all. Ever.

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    1. Smart. Cause that thing could be HOT.

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  85. I'm with Tracy. Nothing a little shower steam can't take care of... ;)

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    1. For some reason that's never worked for me. I prefer the dryer approach!

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  86. I can fortunately say I don't have this dilemma. I mean I own an iron, but it gets used so infrequently it's not a worry.

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    1. I kind of want to give mine to the goodwill.

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  87. Your creativity knows no bounds! This was awesome. I usually have the same thoughts, but honestly, I'm too lazy to care and just carry on about my business! Unless it was the iron or oven or something....but the door, I'd orobs just leave it :/

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    1. I'm honestly not worried about the door because I think that someone will go in. I have a 120-pound dog, so I suspect that most people would stay away. I'm mostly worried because I know I'd NEVER hear the end of it from JP. Ha!

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  88. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the battle of "did I do [insert action here]???" Thankfully, most mornings my hubby leaves the house after I do, so I can call him as I'm heading to work to ask him to double check whatever I'm freaking out about.

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    1. That must make life so much easier! Unfortunately, I'm usually the last one to leave the house.

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  89. This is why I wear wrinkled shirts.

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    1. Oh, me too. I mean...even when I DO iron once every 3 months or so, I'm not very good at it. I'm usually still wrinkly. It's really not worth the effort.

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  90. Holy shit - you DO get a lot of comments! If I can't be first, I'm shooting for last. Wait ... I'm going to find your OLDEST post and leave one there....

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    1. No...I will ALWAYS have the last word! Ha! If you go to my oldest post, you'll know why my blog is called Clay Baboons.

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  91. I do this regularly...glad to know I'm not the only one suffering from extreme bouts of iron OCD! :) Also, glad your house didn't burn to the ground!

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    1. My OCD is limited to the iron. My husband's OCD is limited to everything else. And also the iron. Ha!

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  92. Oooh I am so glad that I am not the only one that does that. With me it is the stove, I don't do anything with irons. Somebody asked to use my iron for my daughter's birthday party and I had to hunt for it.

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    1. I'm ok with the stove. Although I have to admit that after reading all of these comments, I found myself wondering if I'd turned the stove off on my way to work. And I hadn't even used the stove that morning.

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  93. Oh yes, I so know this feeling. I am frequently plagued with the anxiety I've left the door unlocked or something plugged in, though it's only if my dogs are at home. Ick.

    (I read your post after this one and HAD to ocme check this one out since you said it got so many comments. It was worth it.)

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    1. I worry SO much about the dog. I don't really care if my stuff gets wrecked. Ha!

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  94. Lol, no wonder this post received so much feedback! It's nutty (always a good thing) and so creative. Love your little clay image of sell. Glad I came by to see this :)

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