Thursday, April 12, 2012

K is for Knitting


is for knitting.

I like knitting.

Here. Proof:


It only took me seven years to knit this scarf!

Knitting is relaxing. It's rewarding. I enjoy the act of pulling yarn through loops and the sound of clicking needles.


Unfortunately, I'm not terribly good at knitting. I have a recurring problem: nice loose soft stitches get tighter and tighter until I can't even push the needles through the yarn.


Knitting has been officially added to the list of Things That Look Easier Than They Are, along with gardening and playing the harmonica.

Still, though, not all is lost. When the stitches are so tight that the scarf must be abandoned (as it invariably is - unless, of course, it is the mythical Seven Year Scarf), there's a great deal of satisfaction to be had from ripping the stitches out.


See? Fun!

There is also a variety of exciting things that can be done with yarn that have nothing to do with knitting.

Case in point: Operation Barbie.

Operation Barbie is a fantastic game that provides endless hours of fun. The rules are simple:
  1. Sister one sits at the top of the stairs and sister two sits at the bottom of the stairs.
  2. Each sister should have at least two Barbie dolls.
  3. Sister one ties a Barbie to the end of a ball of yarn and sends it down the stairs.
  4. Sister two unties the Barbie, ties on a different Barbie, and then yanks on the yarn three times.
  5. Sister one reels the Barbie up.
  6. Repeat. Forever.
Hours and hours of FUN! FUN! FUN!


Pretend that this is a Barbie.
And also pretend that it doesn't look creepy.

In our house, my sister Catherine usually took the sister one position at the top of the stairs and I took the sister two position at the bottom of the stairs. It's really best to stick to one position until you have it mastered.

And so, I return to this post's central thesis (the one that I have yet to mention): yarn is neither annoying nor confusing, but knitting sometimes is.

. . . .

A Clay Baboons Alphablog: 26 Things That Annoy Me, Confuse Me, Creep Me Out, or Otherwise Make My Life More Difficult.



76 comments:

  1. hooray hooray for KNITTING!!!! (that is my k today, too!)
    i like the scarf!! and the great thing about knitting is that yarn lasts FOREVER - you can take eons to finish a project and it matters not...unless it's something stylish! scarfs are exempt from any time rule.
    operation barbie - yes! we did a variation called operation lego people as kids...

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    1. Did you actually call it operation lego people? Love it!

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  2. No sorry that last picture looks like a Zombie Knitter

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  3. LOL, once I knitted my husband a Doctor Who scarf and it only took me 8 years. The sad part is that now he never wears it after all of that hard work. xD

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    1. He should wear it EVERY DAY. Want me to email him?

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  4. Hahahah I wish I knew how to knit. Alas, I am useless. Your knitting figure is awesome!

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    1. Thanks Gia! Maybe you could just draw a scarf.

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  5. This is way too funny!! Since I see that the Queen Knitter has commented, you need to go on a pilgrimage and maybe Cathy can get you sorted out. If not come to New Jersey and my sister, Ele can fix you up! I LOVE that photo of you with the scarf and the fuzzy head. Your eyes are so pretty. Not in a creepy Barbie way, but pretty!

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    1. Thank you Fran! They're usually hidden behind glasses. :)

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  6. Hehehe Barbie is so versatile.
    I am still knitting a jumper for my husband that I started 20 years ago (I started the jumper not my husband).

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    1. You probably should have started before you met him.

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  7. You and Cathy both wrote about knitting today! I love it. I have knitted 3.5 slippers in my lifetime (not pairs, but slippers). My yarn got so knotted on the 4th one, that I quit. Forever.

    My sister and I played similarly with stairs. And barbies. It was way more fun than putting her in the convertible and cruising to the beach looking for Ken.

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    1. I laughed out loud at your 3.5 slippers. It's perfect.

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  8. I've been knitting a scarf for the lil man since he was 8 months. He's now 10 years old!

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    1. Ha! I'm sensing a graduation gift...

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  9. I like knitting, but the rules are so restrictive. For instance, I can only knit in winter because otherwise my hands get all sweaty. :)

    That is the best Barbie game ever! I wish I had thought of that when I was young. Of course, none of my sisters would have played with me, so I guess that's probably part of the problem.

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    1. Oh no...were your sisters the type who would only play Barbies with Barbies? Because Barbies are so much more versatile than that...

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    2. Nah, I have two older sisters (8 and 7 years older) who were too old to play Barbies with me. Then I have one older sister who is just a year older but she never liked Barbies. But, we only had one each, anyway, because my dad hated 'em.

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  10. Knot one, pearl two?
    Know you know why I knever knit.

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    1. Outstanding post, BTW! As usual!

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    2. Ha! Had to read it twice before I saw that it was "knot" instead of "knit". You're so creative with words.

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  11. I love the Barbie game!! Except I had a little brother, not a little sister, so sometimes I got a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle instead. But it's all relative on the fun spectrum. :)

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    1. So we weren't the only ones who played that way, then!

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  12. Hahaha--love this! I found your blog via the A to Z Challenge, and I'm so glad I did. You have a clean and distinct voice for writing, and your sense of humor is *perfect* (for me, at least). I love knitting, too, but outside of the random scarf (even stitches, no "drop one and loop back" kinky stuff), I've never accomplished much with it. I also live in the Caribbean now, so there's little point to knitting *anything* here--what for, right? :D

    Thanks for the laugh today--really great stuff.

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    1. Thanks Guilie! I'm glad you stopped by for a visit! And I don't do any of the kinky stuff when knitting either. Purely vanilla.

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  13. I cannot knit, but have thought about asking my grandmother to teach me. Mom tried to teach me to cross-stitch and the patterns were too tiny for me. =)

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    1. See, I don't really get cross-stitch. It doesn't really appeal to me. But it does seem to be making a come-back.

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  14. haha - when i read the title i thought - of course! i should do knitting too... i've always wanted to knit, i think i did it once or twice as a kid... but damn... knitting is hard... i think i'll just stick to buying pretty knit things from etsy ;)

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    1. It is hard. Especially since I have this false belief that I'll be really amazingly good at anything I try. Knitting is frustrating!

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  15. My mom knittts. The winter before last, I helped her haul 1400 touques into the city that she knitted for the homeless. She says, next winter she have an even larger number to take in. Apparently, she holds the record for most touques delivered or something like that.
    Operation Barbie sounds strangely familliar to Operation G.I. Joe. Which of course was a military repelling exercise, so it was most likely completely different. :)

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    1. I always see people around town with really beautiful hand-knit hats in the winter....I always wonder about the awesome person that knit all those hats.

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    2. Well, we were sometimes spies when playing operation barbie. So not as different as all that, I suppose. That's amazing that your mom knit 1400 toques for the homeless! Wow!

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  16. When I was little, I used to make strings of rubber bands and make Barbie and her GI Joe consort jump out the window on them. Drove my mum nuts.

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    1. Gasp! Why didn't we ever think of that!

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  17. Hehe I wish I had a relaxing hobby like Knitting or like Barbie transport :) knitting sounds nice and peaceful but I have stubby little sausage hands and I just can't.

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    1. I highly recommend Barbie transport. It's much more relaxing than knitting. But you kind of need someone to play with.

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  18. Oh God knitting SUCKS! I made my son a layette - bonnet, mittens, booties, blanket - before he was born. It took nearly the entire pregnancy, and my much more skilled friend actually made at least half of it after I had to keep unpicking what I'd done in floods of hormonal tears. Needless to say I never made anything for my daughter when she was born ;)

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    1. Ha! I can't help but laugh at the mental image of you sobbing over your knitting. I'm sorry...I don't mean to be cruel, but it just made me laugh. And as for your daughter, that's why stores and money exist.

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  19. My grandma tried to teach me how to crochet once. Needless to say I didn't pick it up.

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    1. People tell me that crocheting is easier than knitting. I tried crocheting. I tell them they're wrong. Ha!

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  20. I think you are better at knitting than you let on. That is one badass scarf.

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    1. Coming from the maker of my very favourite blue hat of awesomeness, that means a lot!

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  21. Ha ha ha! I now wished that I would have had a sibling so I could have played "Operation Barbie" with them! Or maybe it would have turned into "Operation G.I. Joe" had I had a brother.

    I'm not a very good knitter, as in, I can't knit for beans. I usually stuck to cross-stitching back when I was in high school. I even designed my own patterns! :D

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. We used to play with my brother's G.I. Joes too. When he let us. ;)

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  22. What lovely timing! My friend is having "stitch n' b*tch" tonight! (Also, she is the one that sent the photos to me that are on my "K" blog today. :P {But she didn't take them. She did take the ones from "H".})

    I am still working on my first scarf. I started it about 3 years ago and think I might be about half way through so I'm pretty much on the same schedule as you. Good to know.

    No sister for me but my younger brother would occationally leave my Barbies laying around naked.

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    1. It's a good, doable schedule. Not too overwhelming. Ha! Hope you enjoyed the stitch 'n bitch and got at least three or four more rows done.

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    2. You are so amazing for individually replying to EVERY comment!

      I did add about another inch and a half to the scarf. It will be SO EPIC once it's done!

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  23. Wow, 7 years--you are fast. I am averaging 10 plus years on mine, could be longer seeing as I'm still not finished :)
    As always, love the clay photos!

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    1. Don't compare yourself to me. We can't all be knitting prodigies.

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  24. We are kindred souls. I have been knitting the same afghan for 30 years. Hey! I started young. I have it all packed up in a box and it moves when I move, but I haven't looked at it in years.
    Loved this "k" by the way. :) You always make me smile and giggle.

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    1. You put me to shame! My mom had an afghan that she had started years before. It became a family joke. I don't even know what she did with it.

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  25. I have always wanted to try knitting. It seemed relaxing. Then Facebook happened, and blogging...oh and now pinterest which I'm not sure I fully understand yet...I guess it's kinda scrapbooking online...only with other people's stuff. So knitting might be something I pick up when I can no longer "keep up" with this confounded technology.

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    1. Knitting is relaxing. So long as you don't care if you don't actually make anything. You could always just pin pictures of other people's knitting!

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  26. Love this SO very much, Stephanie! Your adorable clay figures truly brighten my day. :)

    My sister used to knit but I could never get the hang of it. I did crochet for a few years and made a bunch of cute little hats and an afghan or two for my daughter when she was a baby, but that's my only yarn-related claim to fame. ;-)

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    1. People keep telling me that crocheting is easier and that I should try it. I keep telling them "meh."

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  27. I've never knitted, something about the two needles, just too much for me. My mom taught me to crochet, but all I can do is one very long, skinny string.
    (Your clay eyes, while nice, do not do justice to the real thing. So lovely.)

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    1. Thank you Jewels! And long, skinny strings are very underrated.

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  28. I can't wait to teach my daughter operation barbie when she is older.

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    1. The rules are pretty complicated, but once she learns, it's kind of like riding a bicycle.

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  29. I can't knit at all! My daughter is learning thanks to her grandma, but I am hopeless.
    How cute is your blog and your clay figures?! Just adorable!

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    1. Thanks Heidi! I don't know if I'm really going to buckle down and learn to knit. Probably not. Ha!

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  30. I love how you are all wrapped up in yarn. That made me realize, yet again, why I love reading your blog so much!

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    1. Thank you Tracie! I'm starting to use more non-clay stuff in my photos, and it makes them more fun for me to plan and write.

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  31. OMG! I love your Clay Baboons!!! Knitting is a relaxing craft...

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    1. It's only relaxing to me if I don't mind the fact that I never actually MAKE anything. ;)

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  32. HA! I just learned to knit this past winter and it took me three weeks to knit a purse about 3x3". :P

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  33. "Repeat. Forever." Would seem many great childhood pastimes involved this crucial step.

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    1. The rules to childhood games usually end with either "Repeat. Forever." or "Never do this again."

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    2. LOL! The rules to most of my childhood games ended with "Apply constant pressure." I was a bit accident prone.

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  34. That relaxing knitting hobby makes me all stabby with the needles!

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  35. I have tried to learn how to knit, but my brain rejects all knitting info.

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    1. My brain actually rejects a lot of stuff.

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