Seriously, Stephanie...how in the world do you manage to keep up with this A-Z challenge? Fess up--you never ever sleep. Right? Please tell me that's the answer because I can barely manage to do one measly post per week & you're making me feel seriously inadequate. LOL
Wait, is this an option? I'd totally be okay with that. Okay maybe not. But it's a great idea! If my boobs didn't look like tennis balls shoved in tube socks, I'd totally do that.
I always wonder if the bright white of my flabbity skin would blind anyone who might've otherwise seen me topless ? Maybe the sun is my friend afterall!
Like Super Earthling I am awed by your posting schedule! These posts must take forever! I'm just writing a few paragraphs and I am so overwhelmed it is ridiculous!!
After having three kids I know your pain. Plus I have those unsightly stretch marks to deal with. It looks as though my child tried to claw his way out of me.
Haha! Definitely! Me and my friend are already beginning our bikini battles (pointless because we follow any actual exercise with a rewarding drink and tapa) ready for the Opening of The Swimming Pool!
How appropriate for me as I travel to the beach this week.... where I will be hiding not fat, but f-ing scars from my stitches.... btw, because I planned poorly and can't get back to my dr on Monday since I'll be traveling, I'm removing my stitches myself tomorrow night and for some reason it has been making me think of your clay zombies. ha.
There are people who look better naked than clothed; there are people who look better clothed than naked. And then there's Brangelina for whom regular rules don't apply. I sometimes wonder if we were ALL naked, though, then the fact that my torso resembles tube socks draped across a ham wouldn't be a problem, right? That's my hope anyway, should I ever be in a place where toplessness or clothedlessness becomes the polite thing to do...I plan to avoid French beaches for as long as possible, preferably until I'm so old that people will avert their eyes in horror and then I can skip merrily to the water, wrinkled dugs blowing in the breeze like empty seed pods.
I am a man and I don't sunbathe topless for the same reason.
ReplyDeleteAnother totally delightful post!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Stephanie...how in the world do you manage to keep up with this A-Z challenge? Fess up--you never ever sleep. Right? Please tell me that's the answer because I can barely manage to do one measly post per week & you're making me feel seriously inadequate. LOL
I have to be honest...I might not make it to the end of the month. The pace is a bit much. I will happily go back to weekly posts in May!
DeleteI love it!
ReplyDeletewould it be weird to sunbathe topless if just the boobs were out, but there was a girdle covering everything below the breasts?
ReplyDeleteThis comment literally had me laughing out loud. What a mental picture...
DeleteWait, is this an option? I'd totally be okay with that.
DeleteOkay maybe not. But it's a great idea! If my boobs didn't look like tennis balls shoved in tube socks, I'd totally do that.
Sigh. This could work if I actually had boobs...
DeleteHAH! You made me laugh out loud for real. Love it.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Me too. Might have something to do with the letter "E". Huh. The letter "E" might also be to blame for "D" as well.
I know the feeling. For me, there's also a glare factor...
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Honestly, this post is kind of full of crap, because I would never sunbathe anyway. I'm more of a burn-and-peel kind of girl.
DeleteI feel the same way. Have you read my youble post yet? I love it. LOVE it. And it's cheap.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I feel the same way! =)
ReplyDeleteLoving the flower, because that's what people sunbathing/relaxing wear. So props for realism!
ReplyDeleteHahahah I love this and agree.
ReplyDeleteI am probably the only person who goes to the beach dressed like an Eskimo. Love this!
ReplyDeleteNope, I'm right there with you! That's probably why I only go to the beach in the middle of winter. Of course in Florida I can get away with it!
DeleteI would never sunbath topless as my legs would not know where they are going.
ReplyDeleteHAH HAh hah ah hahha hah hah ahh h ah hahahah h hah hah hha
If your clay you had blonde hair and an ice cream sundae in her hand, it could be me....
ReplyDeleteha! love this! and esp. love the little pink flower in your hair. :)
ReplyDeletebest,
MOV
I always wonder if the bright white of my flabbity skin would blind anyone who might've otherwise seen me topless ? Maybe the sun is my friend afterall!
ReplyDeleteHaha! "Do not gaze directly at the skin." Honestly, this post is pure nonsense. I'm way too pale to EVER want to sunbathe.
DeleteWait until you are of an age where you can't wear sleevless dresses and tops anymore! :(
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, you made me laugh out loud!! I love it...
ReplyDeleteLike Super Earthling I am awed by your posting schedule! These posts must take forever! I'm just writing a few paragraphs and I am so overwhelmed it is ridiculous!!
ReplyDeleteI think you summed up every women's reason very succintly. At least my wife's!
ReplyDeleteAfter having three kids I know your pain. Plus I have those unsightly stretch marks to deal with. It looks as though my child tried to claw his way out of me.
ReplyDeleteNude beaches freak me out anyway. No amount of flab could be worse than an old man's ass flapping in the wind.
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly! Clay you is so not fat, so therefore real you must not be fat ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Definitely! Me and my friend are already beginning our bikini battles (pointless because we follow any actual exercise with a rewarding drink and tapa) ready for the Opening of The Swimming Pool!
ReplyDeleteThis is sooooo funny... and cute too!
ReplyDeleteI think the clay-people can get away with anything... they're too adorable!
I think That says it all!! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh girl, I'm right there with ya!
ReplyDeleteHow appropriate for me as I travel to the beach this week.... where I will be hiding not fat, but f-ing scars from my stitches.... btw, because I planned poorly and can't get back to my dr on Monday since I'll be traveling, I'm removing my stitches myself tomorrow night and for some reason it has been making me think of your clay zombies. ha.
ReplyDeleteBased on all the fat that is in my body, I would need to have everything from the neck down censored. :P
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
I'm in complete agreement! However.... I can get to my apartment building's roof. And it's taller than the surrounding buildings. Mwhahaha
ReplyDeleteAgain, I have to know if we're related. Let's blame our problem on all that damn Easter candy...mmmm PB M&Ms.
ReplyDeleteSeconded! Or 37thed or whatever number comment I am. I feel uncomfortable even wearing a tankini.
ReplyDeleteThis is MY TRUTH. I'd sunbath topless if I could wear some kind of middle-sucker-inner. A girdle?
ReplyDeleteThere are people who look better naked than clothed; there are people who look better clothed than naked. And then there's Brangelina for whom regular rules don't apply. I sometimes wonder if we were ALL naked, though, then the fact that my torso resembles tube socks draped across a ham wouldn't be a problem, right? That's my hope anyway, should I ever be in a place where toplessness or clothedlessness becomes the polite thing to do...I plan to avoid French beaches for as long as possible, preferably until I'm so old that people will avert their eyes in horror and then I can skip merrily to the water, wrinkled dugs blowing in the breeze like empty seed pods.
ReplyDelete