Friday, February 17, 2012

Free To A Good Home (And Also Ten More Things)


Usually when I finish with a story, I just smash my creatures and reuse the clay. But I just...I can't. I know that I ranted about how these sheep keep me awake at night, but the truth is that I kind of love them.

So I'd like to offer them to a good home. I have three sheep to give away. And here's how it will work:

- one sheep will go to a random commenter on this post
- one sheep will go to a random person who likes Clay Baboons on facebook
- one sheep will go to the person who writes the best sheep haiku

You can do one of the three to enter just one giveaway, or all three to enter each separate giveaway. And if only one person writes a sheep haiku, then you win a sheep by default! I'll announce the winners next Tuesday, so you have until then to enter.

And now for the ten things.

Please note: illustrated and humour blogs sometimes use strong language or pictures that might not be considered appropriate for your workplace. Use your discretion! And don't blame me if you get in trouble for anything.

Thing One


from Womb for Whining

Gweenbrick is a creative storyteller who crafts hilarious illustrated posts about his very strange life and his very strange mind. He mentioned to me in his comment section that he had tried to make himself out of clay, but he wouldn't stand up. So I made a Gweebrick action figure for him.




Thing Two

Baa

This video is horrifying. Horrifying, I tell you. You probably think I'm being facetious, but I'm not. If I thought counting sheep was stressful before, this video will turn it into an utter nightmare. The false sense of safety at the beginning, the jarring evil clown music, the mutant alien lambs who haunt my darkest dreams...horrifying. (Thanks to missohkay for suggesting this video and pretty much guaranteeing that I'll never sleep through another night.)


Thing Three

Whatever Could the "C" Stand For?
(Not safe for work. Unless you work with nearly-nude underwear models.)

In the words of Murr: if the thong is butt floss, the c-string is the toothpick. I laughed out loud more than once at these musings on the cultural phenomenon that are women's underwear. And also, she introduces the blogosphere to the term "junk-whisperer". There has to be some kind of prize for that. (When you're done, read some of Murr's archives. She's an extremely talented writer: smart, funny, thought-provoking.)


Thing Four

Her Name is Juanita

This post by The Bloggess made me laugh out loud. Again and again. And then some more. There's a reason why she's the one and only Bloggess. (confession: I'm very late to this game. I only started reading The Bloggess a few months ago. I wish I could rewind time and start reading from the beginning.)



Thing Five

A Duck's Life

Meet Eke, an often-inappropriate cartoon bug that lives on the blog Candy For Breakfast. I love this blogger's style of writing and illustrating; the cute twee pictures stand in jarring contrast with the often rude language. Funny stuff!





Thing Six

The Feminist Housewife's Guide to her Own Sanity

Jen over at Renaissance Maam is currently a housewife. And I know exactly how she feels. It can be hard to pull up roots and move to a new place, especially when you can't work or go to school once you get there. I love these tips and suggestions to help reluctant stay-at-homers adjust and make the best of the time that they have.



Thing Seven

Where Good Ideas Come From

This video by Steven Johnson is thought-provoking and inspiring. Johnson explores the roots of creativity and good ideas, using charming hand-drawn whiteboard illustrations and stop-motion photography to provide a strong visual representation of his words. I first saw this video at a teaching conference a couple of years ago, and for some reason I woke up thinking about it one morning this week. That counts as a slow hunch, right? Or have I missed the whole point...


Thing Eight

Happy Birthday Abby Gabs!

Why yes, that is a photoshopped image of a shirtless Donnie Wahlberg jumping out of a cake. On her blog's first birthday, Abby highlights some of her favourite posts from the past twelve months. I love her funny photoshopped images and the way that she over-acts in self-portraits and videos. Abby puts the gab back into...ummm...Abby Gabs. Yeah, the slogan might still need a bit of work.


Thing Nine

Human Tetris

This is one of my all-time favourite Youtube videos. You know those videos that you watch again, and again, and again, and again? Well, this is one of mine. Add stop-motion photography to the list of Things I Want To Try Someday. (This one is dedicated to Skwishee and J.R. who both suggested playing Tetris in my head to cure my insomnia.)

Thing Ten

Snoring

Despite its rather uninspired name, this game is strangely addictive and almost exactly like Angry Birds. Except with sleeping elephants instead of angry birds. Disclaimer: I've never actually played Angry Birds, so this game might not be anything like it at all.



Please note: I'm not going to reply to comments on this post, because I don't want to mess up the numbers up for the giveaway. So sorry in advance for ignoring you!

42 comments:

  1. I SO would love to have one of the sheep! They are precious!!

    Here is my sheep Haiku:

    Swirly and wooly
    You are my favorite thing
    I count you to sleep
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally want a sheep. But now I'm wondering if I used the correct singular form of the word "sheep." I also kind of want a clay Gweenbrick. I'm a total groupie. Great blog!

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  3. I love your blog and the sheep are adorable!- Randal Crockett (I also liked you on Facebook. Courtney Boyington referred me!)

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  4. My husband hates sheep
    He had a bad experience
    This is a haiku

    Here is another
    This one is about sheep too
    The New Zealand kind

    More Haiku for you
    Your clay sheep are so awesome
    I really want one

    I do not eat lamb
    but I wear a lot of wool
    it is soft and warm

    Enough of that now
    I write in haiku a lot
    It comes naturally

    Like in that one book
    written by Neal Stephanson
    Cryptonomicon

    It does not have sheep
    It's set in the Philippines
    We might move there soon

    I would pack your sheep
    and take pictures of it there
    It would see the world

    We love to travel
    and now I'm stuck on haikus
    I should stop this now

    Your sheep rock my socks
    As do your other figures
    I'd take a squirrel too

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG. SQUEEEEEE! I MUST have a sheep for my collection. Must must must. So, this is my random post to tell you that, and to thank you for including my birthday post in your top ten!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. and here's my haiku!

    Sheep are good for stuff
    Like sleep and knitting and blogs.
    Hey, thanks for the wool.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok, giving the sheep away is the best idea I've heard in a very long time---I'm glad you didn't smash them!
    I love the 10 things, and I'm proud to say I've seen three already... I agree the Blogess is where it's at!

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend :-)

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  8. You already know how much I love your blog and share the posts on FB!! Pick me! Pick me! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's not fair since I
    already have a baboon
    but I want a sheep

    ReplyDelete
  10. The plural of "sheep"
    is "sheep", I guess, and not "sheeps"
    God-damned English sucks.

    Sorry, that's the best I can do. I am horrible at poetry, and this is the second poetry comment request I've had this week.

    Also your sheep are ADORABLE. And now the word "sheep" looks wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. Of course this is a psychological haiku stating that your sheep are safest in your own hands. OK maybe not your hands because they would be too warm and they would sort of go soft but a shelf somewhere would do just fine.

      Delete
  12. the sheep rock my dreams
    baaing and baaing so damn cute
    wool shouldn't itch me

    ReplyDelete
  13. jumping through my dreams
    you rotten little buggers
    go bug someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Stephanie,

    I am more random than Skwishee. Much more random.

    xxo
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
  15. All night counting sheep
    But I still can’t fall asleep
    Clock reads three thirty

    I get out my clay
    Start to fashion curly wool
    I’m wide awake now

    I’ll make hundreds, yes!
    Or thousands, even better!
    Or maybe just three

    Get the astro turf
    Out of the clear supply bins
    Might need Lego’s too

    My giggling wakes him
    “Steph? What the hell—it’s so late!”
    He says, “Wow, cute sheep.”

    “It is for the blog.”
    He nods. He already knows.
    “Come to bed now, Steph.”

    “I will, I will … soon.”
    It’s easy for him to sleep
    He’s not counting sheep.

    MOV
    ps--I would prefer the black or gray one please :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Make a sheep haiku
    About the best sheep there are
    Why its yours, of course!

    Count sheep, one to three
    No, you did it wrong that time
    Its one two three, see?

    I dont understand
    It is possibly rhyming
    With the to and two

    All I need is a
    sheep some swear, far far away
    From the cold night air

    And one enormous
    Chair knitted from clay fake wool
    Oh, yes, one dirt full.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha Ha Ha Ha (Hawaiian) He he he ho ho ho

      Delete
    2. I realize now that last line should be "Oh, yes, one dirt fool"

      Delete
  17. Those are effin cute! I want one! Please can I have one? (one entry for moi!)

    ReplyDelete
  18. And I have "liked" Clay Baboons on Facebook! (entry numero deux! Booya!)

    ReplyDelete
  19. So I was planning my strategy for winning a sheep. Should I try all three of the options? Random Comment, Haiku, Fbook Likey Likey?
    Then BAM!! I scroll down, reading through your Ten Things list,and am completely distracted, and taken aback at your Tetris dedication. I will now play HUMAN Tetris in my head. You have brought me to a whole new Tetris level.A dedication?? To me??

    O.K. completely distracted....where was I?.......Dedicated Thing Nine Human Tetris.... My Name right there on your blog......O.K. Winning a Sheep, yes, o.k. concentrate.
    What were the options???.... Like you on My Space! -Check! Write a Random Comment on my own blog-Check! Write a Sonnet about Goats-Check!
    You dedicated Thing Nine to me (and Skwishee), so I may stalk you! Where in Canada did you say you lived? I do have some frequent flier miles ..................

    Sheep, that's it! Sheep!!! I would love to win a sheep.I tried to win New Kids On The Block tickets when I was in the 10th grade, but that didn't work out so great. So a sheep would fill that void.
    I dedicate this comment to Baboons all over the world, but mostly to the Clay ones! ;) Clay Baboons ROCK!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. ooo, that would be so hard to smash your creations! do you reuse the plasticine stephanie and jd, since they appear more frequently?
    i love your disclaimer about taking care if viewing the links in the workplace...too funny.
    i would love to inherit a stephanie sheep.
    happy weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be a good name for a book or something, "Inherit The Sheep".

      Delete
  21. Aww...I got over to the sheep post late, but I'm glad to see you're not punishing them for torturing you. I still think of them as sweet, benign creatures (little do I know, right?)

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  22. I suddenly remembered that I had a lamb once for a very brief time period when I lived in South Dakota.

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  23. I loved your disclaimer on the "Snoring" about not having played Angry Birds. The very first time you play Angry Birds is nothing like the very very last time (in disgust) that you play Angry Birds.

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  24. White fluffy Sheeps sleep
    Like babies in their cradles
    Explode into ZZZs

    ReplyDelete
  25. I remembered one of my children's book from long time ago. Something about "Sheep in A Jeep"

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  26. That underwear post made me LOL so hard :)

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  27. Close your eyes and imagine Lincoln staring at you with his big blue puppy dog eyes asking for a pet sheep. Please don't break my son's heart :)

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  28. Awww I love your ten things! Good choices! And holy talented, you are.

    ReplyDelete