Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolutions of New Years Past

Yes, I realize that the whole "I make resolutions and then break them right away" is a huge, obvious cliche.

But who am I to fight against things that are huge and obvious?

Please note: every year I declare that I'm going to wear my contacts more often. In honour of that intention, clay me is not wearing any glasses in this post. Of course, I'm away from home for a few weeks and I didn't even bring my contacts with me.

So here they are, the resolutions of New Years past:

January 1st:

January 15th:

January 1st:

January 17th:

January 1st:

January 23rd:

January 1st:

January 4th:

In fact, I've only ever kept one New Year's resolution in my whole life.

January 1st:

And I did it! Aside from weeks when I was out of town, I visited the library every single Saturday for an entire year. Unfortunately, weekly library visits didn't break my life-long pattern of returning books late.

February 1st:

And so, this year, I'm resolving to not make any New Year's resolutions at all*.

*Except that I want to lose 20 pounds.

And organize my stuff.

And make more money.

And read more books that were actually written for adults.

And return my library books on time.

And spend less time on the computer.

And do a better job of keeping the house clean.

And write a young adult novel.

And learn to spell hard words like "relevant" and "embarrassing".

And dress myself in the morning so that this flowchart is no longer relevant to my life:

(OK, well probably not that last one. I need to be realistic, after all.)


  1. awesome!!!
    i love the flow chart, the baked potato chips in the bowl, AND the content of your blog post - thanks so much for the fun new year's-related read!
    "life is full of good intentions," right?? good luck with this year!
    i get stuck with spelling "perseverance" - it never looks right. guess that is a fitting word to use on new year's day, eh?!

  2. Oh, Boy...can I relate. The only thing I can feel superior about it the chips. Gave them up for Lent and haven't had a one since! I'm going for 1 year. Only 2 months to go, so I may make it! Happy New Year, Ms. Clay Baboons!!!

  3. heh... your mock resolution list looks a lot like my *real* one! But, no, it's going to happen this year! Really! I've even made a spreadsheet and if there's a spreadsheet it's gonna come true, right?

  4. Love that flow chart at the end...seriously funny. I'm going to have to thanks Are You Kidding Me? for pointing me to your blog.

  5. This is freakin' hilarious. So many times I was like, yep that's me. You better keep up with this blog all year b/c I love it!!!

  6. This is the best resolutions post I've ever seen. I saw it yesterday and was going to comment but then it disappeared and came back today so yay!

  7. I like the non committal resolutions! If you return books early / on time you will have accomplished TWO resolutions, well at least keep more money for yourself. I hope you work hardest on your book. I like your "learn to spell hard words" idea, I am always googling those kind of words for the right spelling. Cheers to a good start!

  8. I'm right there with ya, sister. I always make really specific resolutions and just set myself up for failure. So this year: I'm being nicer to myself and my body, and I'm going to eat more vegetables. Vague works for me. :)

  9. Earrings=fancy-defining accoutrements for me as well. Ah, New Year's resolutions...I usually make it a resolution to set at least one, and then I don't even manage that. Life's more fun if you just make it up as you go along. (And baked chips are TOTALLY healthy--throw away the superfoods, you can feel morally superior on sunchips alone!)

  10. That flow chart is hilarious. But really, if you can't do something in yoga pants, why do it at all?

  11. @Cathy ooooh...I should add perseverance to my list. That is a VERY hard word. And you're doesn't look right.

    @Fran, you've earned that feeling of smug superiority! Hold on to it for as long as you can.

    @Zo, I've been known to spend so much time making spreadsheets that I then run completely out of energy to do anything else. My to-do list is often the only thing that gets done.

    @Kristin, then I guess I'll have to thank her too! ;) Glad you stopped by.

    @Shell Flower, I have every intention! One of my non-resolutions is to post a story here every week.

    @Sophia, I meant to pre-publish, but I accidentally publish-published and had to delete and re-pre-publish. I'm surprised you had a chance to even see it! And yes, I know, I should email this response to you so that you see it. But I'm kind of in a rush today, so...sorry. Not that you're going to see my apology. ;)

    @Sara, I think that I can at least commit to going online and renewing my books when I realize that I've forgotten them (again) and will have to pay fines if I don't renew them (again). We'll see!

    @Abby - being nicer to yourself...I like that goal! Maybe I should do that too.

    @forgottenbeast, your sunchips reference made me laugh out loud. That should be their new slogan!

    @JoAnnaJae, so true. Pants with zippers are totally overrated.

  12. I just love you and your clay projects so much. They make me laugh out loud every single time.

    Also, I am wearing reindeer-printed flannel, not star printed. Does that mean I'm still in my pajamas, or that I'm ready to party? That flow chart is unclear and I need guidance.

  13. I don't bother with resolutions - I am self-aware enough to realize that I will never keep them. I do love your flow chart - I must print that out and give it to my husband. He's going to be very sad next week when he has to leave his sweatpants behind and get dressed for work EVERY DAY.

  14. You're my hero. That is all.

  15. Love your flow-chart :-)
    Love your entire post :-)

    Have fun reading!
    BTW: what's wrong with books not written for adult adults? I find that a lot of the young adult novels are so much more fun to read than "grown-up" novels (and sometimes contain pretty heavy stuff, like the Tributes of Panem series) - and I'm slowly but surely closing on 40. Help!

  16. No no, you're doing it wrong. You're SUPPOSED to make your resolutions on December 31... and make them retroactive.

    What did I do this year? Oh, see? That was TOTALLY one of my resolutions...

  17. It's ok, they're baked?


  18. @Jen, I love you too. I'm so sorry that the flowchart lacked clarity! I'll update it for 2013, if the world doesn't end next December.

    @areyoukiddingme, getting dressed in real adult clothes is a sad thing indeed.

    @thesacredandtheprofane, if I'm your hero for failing so fully and utterly, then what does that say about you? Ha!

    @relaxednomore, absolutely nothing! YA is what I read and it's what I write. But I do think that I need to expand my horizons a little bit.

    @Leauxra, WHY didn't I think of that? Brilliant!!!!

    @TheWovenMoments, but it's such a nice, comfy place to live.

  19. I just discovered your site and I have to say it is the best thing I have discovered in 2012. That's saying a lot because I discovered Pinterest in 2012. I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

  20. This is great---I'm the same way. I try not to make resolutions in the first place because I'm horrible at anything that involves extra effort or willpower.
    But then I wish I would do things, so I make lists of all the things I could do better this year...and I don't do them. Or maybe I do part of one, that I would have done anyway even if I didn't make the list.
    But, whatever.
    This year, my one official resolution is to not weigh myself even once. Only because I think I can do it, and I want to think more about nourishing my body rather than its size.

  21. @Andrea, thanks! Am I seriously up there with Pinterest? Ha!

    @Lisa, love that resolution! I hope that it works for you.

  22. Somehow I missed this one. But Oh! I love the resolutions. I don't make them because I feel like I can't keep them, either. I do better with goal-setting when it doesn't coincide with an arbitrary date on which EVERYONE is making resolutions. :)

  23. I love your flow chart. I see nothing wrong with supporting the library with monthly donations. I donate, too!

  24. @jhl I honestly don't know ANYONE who keeps new year's resolutions.

    @Detour It's funny because it's true. And sad.