Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Woman vs Treadmill

The first time that I set foot on a treadmill, I was in teacher's college.

I walked confidently up to the gym doors, feeling all hard-core for being there at seven in the morning. A few days before, I had run outside with hat and mittens, and honestly? I hated being cold. At least the gym was warm. Besides, I was an adult now. Adults drink wine and clean the toilet before it gets gross and go to gyms.

I'm not going to lie. I felt intimidated by all of the fit people sweating profusely and running without actually going anywhere.

I stepped on the treadmill and looked at the controls. I tried to glance subtly at the people on either side of me to see which buttons they pressed first. Eventually I figured out that the green START button was probably a good place to start out.

At first, I felt awkward, but it didn't take me long to find my rhythm.

When I run, I retreat to a quiet space deep inside my own mind. After a few minutes of listening to my feet slap on the treadmill, I had slipped into that state of zen-like calm.

When all of a sudden...

(dramatic pause)

I quickly regained my feet, threw my arms up in the air and shouted out:

Which was a good thing.

Because it ensured that everyone in the crowded gym was looking at me, instead of just the people closest to me.

The next morning, I decided that running with a hat and mittens wasn't so bad after all.


  1. These little funny people needed their own blog!!

  2. LOL! Buffy slept with Spike because he is the definition of hot. I'm so sorry about your treadmill spill.

    (found you via Mel's round-up)

  3. Yea! I love it! And Buffy slept with Spike because she had died and was brought back and didn't really want to be there and nothing made sense anymore and Spike was like "I'm trying to be a better person!" and Buffy was all "Hey, you're on the outside too! You know how I feel!" and then they shared this weird melancholy thing and it seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.

  4. Detour already said it: Buffy slept with Spike because he's a total hottie.

    And I'm sorry, but that story is really funny. I probably would've died of shame if that had happened to me.

  5. OMG - Stephie-Mutha - - - you are a classic. . .never change! ox

  6. I have to throw my hat in the ring about Spike: super-hot. Buffy had the right idea. He also had a great accent, which always helps. So glad you didn't lose teeth or break a bone so you could go out into the Great Cold the next day. And the next. And the next.

  7. Ok, I feel bad... but I laughed out LOUD at your misfortune on the treadmill. Something like would happen to me... which is why I have a treadmill in my own house - so when this DOES happen to me, it won't be in front of a group of people. :)

  8. I can't stop laughing. Literally, crying with laughter.
    This is defo my N1 blog!

  9. okay i know this post is old but hell, so am i. look at it this way: at least when you fell on the treadmill you went straight back. if you'd gone sideways? DOMINOS, baby. and THAT would've been funny as hell.
    as for buffy & spike, um have you seen Spike? Nuff said.