Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What Not to Say to Someone With an Uncooperative Uterus

Or: Twelve Annoying Comments in One Short Conversation

disclaimer # 1: I have heard every single one of these comments at least once. Some of these comments are actually OK (and even funny), coming from a place of love or a sarcastic best friend. It all depends on context. And intent. And whether or not you’re a smug biddy.

disclaimer # 2: This post is meant to be funny, but I'm not sure that you'll find it amusing unless you can relate. So if it isn't funny, don't fret. I'll probably post something about falling on my face next week.












































Edited to add: I didn't really call Telehealth. I made that part up. A commenter on my other blog was right: Telehealth wouldn't have answered my question. They would have sent me to a doctor instead.

34 comments:

  1. Oh. My. God. Funniest post I've seen in like forever. You are a brilliant genius!

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  2. LOL! Loved this! Especially the ending!

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  3. I loved this post. Of course, I wish I were amongst the lucky ones who wouldn't get it because they are fertile, but I'll say this: IF makes us funny. Crazy as all hell, but funny. :)

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  4. Freaking great! I just fell off my chair. Genius!!

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  5. You should just appreciate that you have free time to blog. I haven't had time to make cute animated characters in yeaaaaars because I get up at the buttcrack of dawn to take care of my 47 biological children. Haha, you forgot that helpful piece of advice :D Loved this post!

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  6. Ok, this is one of the funniest things I've seen in ages! I'm sitting on the couch laughing SO loud! The sad part is I've heard those lines too but it's nice to find some humor in all of this when you can!

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  7. This was really good. I totally get it...trust me...but it also made me kind of sad. I wish none of us had to have a sense of humor about this stuff!

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  8. This was great. Just the laugh I needed today.

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  9. This is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. Thank you for the belly laugh. P.S. I have heard almost all of those comments myself. WTF?

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  10. I've heard them all too ... except for the jogging one, because no one would ever mistake me for a jogger.

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  11. That's hilarious! Way to put a positive spin on something so horrible!

    To all the women struggling to get pregnant, my thoughts are with you all! It was the worst two years of my life!

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  12. Hilarious and so true! THANK YOU!

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  13. Thank you to everyone who commented both here and on my other blog (where this was originally posted, before I completely transitioned to Clay Baboons). While my heart was warmed by everyone's kind words, I also wish that there weren't so many women who could relate. I hope that 2012 brings us all what we want the most!

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  15. Wait, am I the one with the glasses? This is a great and hilarious illustration of my life. Actually, only the FIRST 13 years of marriage. Because that's how long it took.

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  16. Hilarious and so freaking true. Infertility survivor here. ((hugs))

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  17. Replies
    1. Good question! Honestly, I don't presume to speak for all women going through this. But the best thing you could say to me is "That sucks. I'm sorry that it hasn't worked out yet. I hope that it happens for you soon."

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  18. So very funny! Glad I found your blog through Leap Blog Day. I loved your guest post, too.

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  19. I know these conversations only too well, except for me the spin is on *wanting* to have kids (which I don't). We may not be in the Victorian era or even post-WWII America anymore, but (as I'm sure you can understand) there's plenty of people, women mostly, out there that *truly* believe the crap about "giving birth is what our bodies were designed for", and when I make the mistake of explaining I'm not into the whole motherhood thing, I get a lot--a *lot*--of dropped jaws. As if it were an insult, an affront to the hard-working moms out there.

    Seems to me that women, as a gender, could learn to be more supportive of each other. I don't know about you, but in my case, men seem to be much more understanding whenever the subject comes up. Maybe "understanding" is not the right word... More like "tolerant" and "respectful".

    Great post, and love your blog!

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  20. NOW I get why you didn't want any of us to reassure you in your latest post. :P Ugh. It's enough to make anyone want to become a hermit.

    -Barb the French Bean

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  21. Yes. Exactly. All of the above. +more that I can't rehash right now, since I'm calm and full of coffee. :) Thanks for this post! It should go out on little postcards people can just hand out when we get asked these dumb questions repetitively.

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  22. You can have a wonderful life with or without kids.

    My personnal favourite *silly* comment is "So now that you're married, when are you going to start having kids?"; to which I replied "We're not." and then the other person looks at me like I'm an ALIEN and proceeds to asks me why... Fun times! LOL

    Good seeing you at Christmas time!

    Chantal :-)

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